Sheldon: I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting.
Leonard: 'Cause when you talk, it enrages people.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Howard: Don't feel bad. Some day someone will be throwing out your work, too.
Leonard: That someone was Sheldon and the day was yesterday.

Sheldon: I remember the song! It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys! Oh, thank goodness! I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!
Leonard: There goes our shot at him living on the roof.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?