Bernadette: Is it weird we don't?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe the surprise will make it more fun. Like magic tricks. Remember how disappointed you were when I explained the never-ending hanky?
Bernadette: I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly.
Howard: But how delightful was it when I pulled out a bouquet at the end of those scarves? It'll be the same thing when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you.
Bernadette: Everyone said I could do better.
Howard: But you didn't listen, and presto change-o, my baby's inside you. Ta da!

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Penny: The new neighbors are weird.

Penny: Do they know why the pipes burst?
Amy: They didn't say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.