Bernadette: Hey, where you been?
Howard: Oh, we went and did a little shopping for the baby.
Raj: Wait till you see the crib we found.
Bernadette: You bought a crib without me?
Howard: You're gonna love it.
Raj: Yeah. It's the highest rated one on the market. I wouldn't even call it a crib. I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without 'em.

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Sheldon: So until Amy's apartment is fixed, she and I are living here together.
Bert: I lived with my old girlfriend. She was a geologist, too.
Amy: Things didn't work out?
Bert: I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. I'm warning you, hide your good rocks.