Stuart: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Stuart. What are you doing here?
Stuart: Oh, I'm living here again.
Raj: Do, uh, Howard and Bernadette know? Or is it like a possum in the walls kind of thing?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing; I skipped kindergarten.

Sheldon: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned.

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.