Beverly Hofstadter: What's going on?
Sheldon: Well, our friend Raj moved into my old room, and it's brought up a lot of negative feelings for me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Mm. Well, what do you think the loss of your room represents?
Sheldon: Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. Can we skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer, and get to the part where you tell me the answer?
Beverly Hofstadter: Very well, but, uh, if you don't mind, I'd still like to pause for effect.

Leonard: Well, uh, okay, um, I dont want to get back together with Penny. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work, but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj. And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.
Beverly Hofstadter: I understand.
Leonard: Got any advice?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. Buck up.
Leonard: Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development, and all you've got is buck up?
Beverly Hofstadter: Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.

Beverly Hofstadter: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Beverly Hofstadter: She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects, and don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

Sheldon: Well, I think it's very nice that you're helping out our friend.
Leonard: I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication Amy's clearly giving you.

Amy: This isn't about me and Sheldon. This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. They've found a need to take yet another roommate. Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.
Sheldon: I had no idea all our relationships were such a disaster. Boy, you're good.
Beverly Hofstadter: That is the word on the street, dear.

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.