Amy: This isn't about me and Sheldon. This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. They've found a need to take yet another roommate. Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.
Sheldon: I had no idea all our relationships were such a disaster. Boy, you're good.
Beverly Hofstadter: That is the word on the street, dear.

Leonard: Well, uh, okay, um, I dont want to get back together with Penny. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work, but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj. And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.
Beverly Hofstadter: I understand.
Leonard: Got any advice?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. Buck up.
Leonard: Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development, and all you've got is buck up?
Beverly Hofstadter: Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.

Beverly Hofstadter: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Beverly Hofstadter: She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects, and don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

Raj: I'm sorry, guys. Sheldon was upset, Leonard and Penny were fighting. I just wanted to go someplace where I wasn't causing problems.
Howard: (sighs) I'll say it again. India.

Sheldon: What if she's correct? Doesn't that say something troubling about us?
Amy: I don't know. I just think you're the kind of person who likes a contingency plan.
Sheldon: That is true. Did you know I figured out in which order I would eat all my friends in the event of an apocalypse?
Amy: You need to stop hanging out with your brain so much. It's not a good influence.

Penny: Well, it's like that science thing. For every action, you have a gigantic and annoying reaction.
Leonard: Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter.