Leonard: Oh, that's right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day.
Sheldon: Now you see what you've done? Because of you, we're all going to miss Stan Lee.
Leonard: Whoa! What do you mean all?
Sheldon: Well, you're my friends. You'll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents, and if you had the upper body strength, carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.
Leonard: Yeah, okay. No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that you will not stand beside me as I plead my case?
Leonard: Thats what I'm saying.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Leonard: [to a "smiling" Sheldon] We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.

Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se - that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.

Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.