Professor Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, may I present Dr. Millstone from MIT. She'll be heading up our data analysis team.
Dr. Millstone: It's nice to meet you, Dr. Koothrappali. I read your paper on Kuiper belt object size distribution. I really enjoyed it. How did you correct for the selection bias?
Raj: (After drinking a large sherry) Well, I ran a simulation that allowed me to correct for the observational efficiency.
Dr. Millstone: That's just fascinating.
Raj: Thank you. Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub? ... So, when do I start?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

Sheldon: There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.

Rajesh: Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim buck naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection, than work with you.