Penny: This was a good idea. It's been a long time since we've had girls' night.
Amy: Yeah, it's so nice to have a relaxing evening at home doing nothing.
Bernadette: Yeah, really breaks up the other 30 days I've spent on bed rest doing nothing.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Amy: Maybe we should just get married at City Hall and forget about everything else.
Sheldon: City Hall, hmm. I do like metal detectors and the sound of permits being denied.

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?