Leonard: Oh, hey, on a related subject, are you embarrassed to have me around your friends?
Penny: Oh, my god, no. Why would you ask that?
Leonard: Well, you know, I just noticed I haven't really met any of them.
Penny: Sure you have.
Leonard: Well, yeah, no, I met the huge ex-boyfriend and the smaller, yet still larger than me, ex-boyfriend.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny. We are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms traveled fourteen billion years through time and space to create us, so that we could be together and make each other whole.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Howard: Sheldon knows football? I mean Quidditch, sure, but football?

Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football - in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot.