Raj: Hey, so what did you guys think of the new episode of Caprica last night?
Leonard: I didn't see it.
Howard: Didn't see it? What were you doing?
Leonard: Uh, I was out.
Raj: On Caprica night?
Leonard: Yeah, I, uh, went for a drink.
Howard: Really, you, and where, where did you go?
Leonard: To, uh, Lucky Baldwin's.
Sheldon: Oh, I've heard of that place. Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you meet anyone interesting there, perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid?
Leonard: As a matter of fact I-I-I can't. I can't. I can't do it.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: I'm sorry.
Raj's sister: Why do you say that?
Leonard: When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my natural response.

Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch your sister? She's all covered in airplane germs.

Sheldon: And to think, I was about to waste the last of my good haemorrhoid cream on you.