The Big Bang Theory - Sheldon Quotes

Submit Quotes

Next Page >>

Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

4.7

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. (pause) Shhhhh!!!!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'M BATMAN!!!! SHHHH!!!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Penny: Mrs Cooper? Hey, it's Penny. I think I broke your son. Hold on. (To Sheldon) Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: (Crying) Mummy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Penny: What the hell's going on?
Sheldon: You hypocrite!
Penny: What?!
Sheldon: Little Miss Grown-Ups-Don't-Play-With-Toys! If I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Beanie Babies? Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts? Hello, Hello Kitty!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Sheldon: Are you upset about something?
Leonard: What was your first clue?
Sheldon: Well there was a number of things. First the late hour, then you demeanors seems very low energy plus your irritability...
Leonard: Yes I'm upset!
Sheldon: Oh... I don't usually pick up on those things. Good for me.
Leonard: Yeah good for you.
Sheldon: (walks away and then turns back) Oh, wait. Did you want to talk about what's bothering you?
Leonard: I don't know... maybe.
Sheldon: Wow! I'm on fire tonight.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Sheldon: At my age do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be, my C-men.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?  
Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

4.6

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

4.6

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: I know what your doing.
Sheldon: You do?
Leonard: You're using chocolate as a positive reinforcement for what you consider is a correct behavior!
Sheldon: Very good! Chocolate?

4.6

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency

Wolowitz: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother, my feelings for my spot are much greater.

4.6

Showing results 1 to 20 of 892

Page 1  2  3  4  ... 42  43  44  Page 45  

Next Page >>