Bernadette Quotes Page 1 of 3

Searching Search quotes

Showing quotes 1 to 30 of 82Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Bernadette: But we have jobs, we can't babysit her twenty-four hours a day.
Howard: What if we use our vacation time?
Bernadette: I wanted to go to Hawaii, not Hell.

4.7

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Bernadette: I'm too small for Twister. And roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

4.6

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Jesse: You're back.
Bernadette: *Angry voice* Yes, I am. There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine. And he's a much nicer person than you are. And if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Bernadette: Aww, Raj did the dishes.
Howard: How do you know I didn't do them?
Bernadette: Because once when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Leonard: You don't go to into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: I'm glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I'm glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Bernadette: I said to stop insulting each other. I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Howard: My arm is feeling numb. *Howard rubs his right arm*
Bernadette: That's the wrong arm for a heart-attack, doofus.
*Howard switches to his left arm*

4.6

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha?
Howard: A mocha?! Well, it must be nice to be Queen.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Bernadette: Great news. A raccoon virus just crossed the species barrier and can now infect humans.
Raj: Why is that great news?
Bernadette: In the pharmaceutical business we have a saying: mo' infections, mo' money.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Raj: Have you heard from Howard?
Bernadette: I did. His talk at NASA went great.
Penny: Sheldon didn't heckle him?
Bernadette: No. In fact, he was so well behaved Howard bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobblehead and astronaut ice cream.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Amy: I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different.
Bernadette: Well just the fact you got him up here says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie $200 that it wasn't going to happen.
Howard: I'm going to the Lego Store to get a big-ass R2D2.
Bernadette: See, it's not just Sheldon, they're all idiots.
Howard: She's right.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Priya: What happened?
Bernadette: Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Bernadette: Little warning before you jump into this marriage business. You're not just marrying him, you're marrying his family.
Penny: I think Leonard's mom's okay with me.
Bernadette: It doesn't matter if she's okay with you. The question is can she go to the bathroom by herself?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Bernadette: Oh, I understand. You wanna do something you're already good at? I know, why don't I get you a job at the sitting around all day wearing yoga pants factory?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Bernadette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Penny: It's kind of heavy.
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Bernadette: (Shouting at another driver) Your kid might be a honor student but you're a moron!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Bernadette: If you like pushing buttons so much, try pushing them on the washing machine.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving.
Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Bernadette: And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Bernadette: I told Howard if I wasn't busy I'd spend the night at his mom's. So for God's sake, think of something.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Bernadette: I got into science because I was always the smallest kid in the school. I thought if I became a scientist I could invent a formula that made me taller.
Amy: That's cute.
Bernadette: I thought it was working for a while, but then I found out my brother was just lowering the pencil marks on the door frame.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Bernadette: Everyone of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens.

4.4

Showing quotes 1 to 30 of 82Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes