Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 21

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Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Will you with me?
Bernadette: To do what? Shake a can of nickels at them?

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Do you really think there's reason to worry?
Leonard: Yeah, she's definitely going after Sheldon.
Raj: I made a play for her and she shot me down.
Penny: All right, well, that doesn't prove anything.
Bernadette: Yeah, there's a million reasons a woman would shoot Raj down.
Raj: Like, really, a million?
Bernadette: Fine, hundreds.
Raj: Thank you.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.
Bernadette: Which he only did once.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?
Bernadette: (grimacing with disgust) Ugh. How can you think that? Why would you even put those words together?

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Bernadette: I don't know if you realize this, but whenever you're between projects, you tend to get a little insecure.
Howard: Oh.
Bernadette: A little clingy.
Howard: I know and I'm sorry. (starts kissing her)
Bernadette: Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop. Stop. I love when you're affectionate, but this is not coming from a good place.
Howard: (laughing) Well, excuse me, but what did you do when you worked on that allergy drug for two years and the FDA shut down your project?
Bernadette: I signed us up for ballroom dance class.
Howard: Okay, and what did you do when they took you off the anti-fungal team?
Bernadette: I made us have a baby.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Bernadette: Well, distance might be nice. The last time a big project ended for Howie, he wouldn't stop following me around. He even went with me to get a mammogram.
Penny: Well, what's wrong with that?
Bernadette: No, he wanted to get one with me, like some kind of weird couple's massage.
Penny: And yet you bore his child. Neato.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Howard: Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling.
Bernadette: Sorry, you're not a dork. (Southern accent): You're a clown. (Regular voice): Tammy Jo, don't say that, you'll make him feel bad. (Southern accent): Look at him, what reason he got to feel good?
Howard: All right, very funny.
Bernadette: Don't listen to her, she's been in a box for, like, 25 years. (chuckles) (Southern accent) Yeah, back when his haircut was fashionable.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Howard: I can't believe you made fun of me all these years while you were a closeted ventriloquist.
Bernadette: Okay, it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent besides spreading rumors that the other contestants were pregnant.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Bernadette: And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job I was uncomfortable with.
Penny: 'Cause he's scared of you?
Bernadette: Terrified.
Penny: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: So he's my ex-boyfriend, who cares? I can't believe Leonard would be so insecure.
Bernadette: Really? I have no trouble believing that at all.
Penny: And Zack's engaged. Leonard has no reason to feel threatened.
Bernadette: We're talking about the same Leonard, right?

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: You want food?
Bernadette: Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like, 5,000 calories a day. (To Amy) Do not touch that phone!

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: I didn't know you could drink while you were breastfeeding.
Bernadette: Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production.
Amy: I'm pretty sure that's a myth. Let me check.
Bernadette: Ruin it for me, and I'll break this glass over your head.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Bernadette: Let me just say good-bye. (Taps the glass) Halley. (Hits the glass) Look at Mommy. (Hits the glass) Over here, honey. (Pounding the glass)Say good-bye to Mommy! Look at me! Look at your mother!
*Babies crying*
Bernadette: All right, we can go.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Stuart: Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you. (voice breaking) I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home.
Bernadette: Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
Howard: (voice breaking) Great, now everybody's crying.
Stuart: At least Halley's not.
Howard: That's good.
Bernadette: She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care!

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