Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 16

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Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation

Bernadette: Smells ripe in here. You can kinda feel it in your eyes.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Bernadette: If you don't know how to make lasagna, Google does.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Bernadette: Stuart, don't you drink my milk!

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Amy: Is there anything we can do?
Bernadette: Sure. Open up a college fund, shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room, there's a mountain of dirty laundry. Wash it or burn in, your choice.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Bernadette: How can she hate me? I make her food in my chest! It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Bernadette: While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Howard: There's a baby in there.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Bernadette: I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Howard: That's great, now they know where I live.
Raj: What are you talking about? They've always known where you live.
Bernadette: Yeah, if you want to go off the grid, you have to move out of your mother's house.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! Look at me. Listen to me. I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, "That's a scientist." It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is."

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Bernadette: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Bernadette: I've got to go. I've got to get up early. My company's testing a new steroid that supposedly doesn't shrink testicles, and the last one there has to do the measuring.

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