Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 15

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Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Bernadette: How can she hate me? I make her food in my chest! It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Bernadette: While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Howard: There's a baby in there.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Bernadette: I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Howard: That's great, now they know where I live.
Raj: What are you talking about? They've always known where you live.
Bernadette: Yeah, if you want to go off the grid, you have to move out of your mother's house.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! Look at me. Listen to me. I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, "That's a scientist." It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is."

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Bernadette: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Bernadette: I've got to go. I've got to get up early. My company's testing a new steroid that supposedly doesn't shrink testicles, and the last one there has to do the measuring.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Penny: What am I gonna do?
Bernadette: I don't know. You can't take it down. You'll break her heart. Look at that face. That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.
Penny: Is there any chance I'll learn to love it?
Bernadette: That depends. Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like a man?

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Penny: All right, it's got to go.
Bernadette: What will you tell Amy?
Penny: How about I tell her the painting makes you feel jealous because you're not in it?
Bernadette: Nuh-uh. What if she gets me one? I already have a picture of me and Howard's mom getting our hair cornrowed in Venice Beach. I've suffered enough.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Howard: Okay, just to set the record straight, I didn't hire the prostitute, she was a gift from him. Shame on you, Raj. That is not how we treat women in this country.
Bernadette: Don't you try and blame this on him.
Raj: Thank you, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Zip it, pervert!

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Bernadette: These are gift bags we're going to put in the hotel rooms of our out-of-town guests. This is a map of Pasadena. This is a list of local restaurants. And then, for Howie's relatives, we have antihistamines, antacids, and medicine for diarrhea and constipation.
Penny: Yeah, we labeled them stop and go.

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