Quotes from ‘The Jiminy Conjecture’

The Jiminy Conjecture

'The Jiminy Conjecture' - Season 3, Episode 2

Leonard and Penny's relationship hits a snag after an awkward first night together. Meanwhile, Sheldon and Howard go to great lengths to determine the species of a cricket for a bet they made.

Air Date: September 28, 2009.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Ooo, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.

Quote from Raj

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!

Quote from Raj

Wolowitz: I think that you and Penny had a poor night.
Leonard: It wasn't poor. It was ... just fine.
Raj: Dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

Quote from Howard

Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me. Wolverine Origin, mini series issue two, page 22, retractable bone claws. You know, if you three spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books, we would have much less of these embarrassing moments.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Hey Sheldon, whattcha got there a new comic book?
Sheldon: Old comic book. I just got it from the safe deposit box.
Penny: What do you have a safe deposit box for?
Sheldon: Old comic books.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-conceived cricket wager.
Penny: What, do they have Wii Cricket now? Well, that can't be very popular.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends!

Quote from Raj

Raj: I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Could we focus on what's important here? I lost a bet to Wolowitz!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shiksa.
Sheldon: Forgive me, Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas, and if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.

Crawley: Ha-ha. Don't knock, just walk in. Why be polite to the world's leading expert on the dung beetle?

Quote from Howard

Howard: Could you look at Toby?
Crawley: Toby? What a stupid name for a cricket.
Sheldon: (To Howard) Told you.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction in the nerve cells and stimulates re-uptake receptors of inhibitory neurotransmitters like gamma-amino butyric acid.

Sheldon: Professor, can you identify our cricket?
Crawley: Of course I can. I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. Not that that's gonna keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard, and we're not talking Oxnard at the beach, No! We're talking Oxnard in the onion fields.

Crawley: I've been studying insects since I was 8 years old. You know what they use to call me in school? Creepy Crawley!

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