Quotes from ‘The Desperation Emanation’

The Desperation Emanation

'The Desperation Emanation' - Season 4, Episode 5

When Leonard realizes he's the only one without a girlfriend, he asks Howard to set him up with one of Bernadette's friends. Meanwhile, Sheldon is trying to lose his girlfriend after she asked him to meet her mother.

Air Date: October 21, 2010.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles, we live at 311 Los Robles. *Holds up number 2 fixture*
Leonard: You changed the address on the building? What about mail?
Sheldon: No worries, I explained our predicament to our letter carrier. He was sympathetic, his exact words were "Got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy!"

Quote from Sheldon

Amy's Mom: It's nice to meet you too Sheldon, I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
Sheldon: I assure you, I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Amy's Mom: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, We're like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt!
Amy's Mum: Amy? What is he saying?
Amy: You wanted me to have a boyfriend, mother, well here he is! Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
Sheldon: Oh yes. It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are:
Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard's Star, Wolf 359, Laland 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B, BL Ceti, UV Ceti, Ross 154, Ross 248, Epsilon Eridani, Lac 9352, Ross 128, EZ Aquarii A, EZ Aquarii B, EZ Aquarii C, Procyon A.
Those are the stars that are nearest to me,
Tra la la and fiddle dee dee.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know it just occurred to me, if there are an infinite number of parallel universes, in one of them there's probably a Sheldon who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.
Leonard: Probably. What's your point?
Sheldon: No point. It's just one of those things that makes one of the me's chuckle.*

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.
Leonard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: What does that mean?
Leonard: Well, you know how you're always saying Amy is a girl who is your friend but not your girlfriend?
Sheldon: Uh huh.
Leonard: Well, you can't say that any more.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, get the door.
Howard: Why can't you get it?
Mrs. Wolowitz You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy. I'm like an upside-down volcano here.

Quote from Sheldon

*Sheldon spots Amy Farrah Fowler outside the apartment*
Sheldon: Oh dear... they really do be crazy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Ok, two words. Deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Oh Leonard, you remind me of the funny old story of the man who walks into a Women's Correctional Facility with a stack of paperwork that would allow the female convicts to go free.
Leonard: You're saying I couldn't get laid in woman's prison with a handful of pardons.
Raj: Are you going to let me tell the story or not?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: She is a girl, who is a friend, but she is not, forgive me for doing this, (air quotes) "my girlfriend".

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably make an actual Hulk.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship. Bazinga!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What about you, Stuart? Do you have a girlfriend yet?
Stuart: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I met her at Comic-con. The one place in the world where saying, "I own a comic book store", is an actual pick-up line.
Leonard: Oh, well, good for you.
Stuart: Not really, she's horrible. When she wants to have sex, she puts on her plus-size Wonder Woman costume and shouts, "Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?"
Leonard:Why don't you just break up with her.
Stuart: Heh, no, I can't.
Leonard: Why not?
Stuart: Because then I'd be alone. Like you.

Quote from Sheldon

*Knock, Knock*
Leonard: Who is it?
Amy: Amy Farrah Fowler.
Sheldon: Darn, she found me.
Leonard: She's been here before.
Sheldon: The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan. Now get my back, Jack.
Leonard: What do you want me to do?
Sheldon: Tell her I'm not here.
Leonard: Where are you?
Sheldon: I don't know. You'll have to devise a scenario that plausibly explains my absence keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.
*Later, Leonard answers the door to Amy*
Leonard: Hi, Amy. Sheldon's not here.
Amy: All right.
Sheldon (to Leonard): Way to go on the details.

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