Sheldon: And so, instead of bowing to pressure, and going to that pointless soire, I stayed right here and did a load of whites.
Amy: (On webcam) Well, normally I respect your macho rebellious attitude toward The Man, but, in this case, I think you'vee made a foolish mistake.

Penny: Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on.
Amy: What is it, the fuzz?
Penny: Look at us. What are we doing?
Amy: I was gleefully following you to a life of crime, looking forward to the day we might be cell mates. I don’t know about Bernadette.

Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
Penny: What? I was not a bully.
Bernadette: Kind of sounds like you were. And maybe a felon.
Amy: Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.

Amy: That's nothing. In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion. Within six months, the nicknames began to fly. I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
Penny: Wow. You poor thing.

Penny: Well, what do you want us to do?
Amy: I don't know. Might be the New Jersey talking, but this Nowitzki broad needs to disappear.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Bernadette: We didn't want you to worry.
Amy: Should I worry?
Penny: No, come on, it's Sheldon. Nothing is gonna happen.
Amy: That's what you said to me when I started dating him. And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened.

Sheldon: And you'll text me when you arrive at the airport?
Amy: I will.
Sheldon: And when you're at the gate?
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: And if you see any actors from Game of Thrones in first class?
Amy: I don't know what they look like, but sure.

Bernadette: Really? He doesn't put raisins or banana slices or anything in it?
Amy: I don't think plain oatmeal was the point of that story.
Penny: I mean, I like a little brown sugar-
Amy: Guys!

Amy: You know, what you need to do is put this Air Force project behind you and just dive into something new.
Sheldon: Well, there is our quantum cognition experiment. You and I could spend more time on that.
Amy: Oh, I don't know, I mean, let's say we succeed in proving that our consciousness creates reality.
I mean, what will we have really accomplished? You know, a loaf of bread's still three bucks.

Amy: Morning.
Sheldon: I apologize for exceeding my allotted bathroom time.
Amy: Are you feeling okay?
Sheldon: Not really. Apparently grief can make one less regular.
Amy: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: No, I sat and I sat, but to no avail.
Amy: Oh, the-the more details, the more sorry.

Amy: Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones who appreciate you, not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man. Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?
Sheldon: You're so cute. I'm going to go learn how to walk on stilts.
Amy: So many warnings.

Amy: His mother warned me. Everybody warned me. Actually, he warned me.

Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm returning this stuff to Howard.
Amy: Oh, Bernadette made me promise if you didn't want it, we'd give it to a homeless clown.

Penny: So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile?
Bert: Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added, "Recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner", and five minutes later, I met my soul mate.
*Amy goes to the hallway*
Amy: I was wrong. You can come back in.

Sheldon: Bert, Rebecca. I'd like to apologize for my insensitive comment earlier.
Rebecca: Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Sheldon: See? It was fine. I didn't need a time-out.
Amy: It wasn't a time-out. Let's get some food.
Sheldon: You made me sit on the stairs and think about what I did.
Amy: Get your food!