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Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: Thanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me.
Raj: We’re sorry Amy didn't want to go.
Howard: Really, really sorry.
Bert: Eh. Who needs her when I have you guys? Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock sho-o-o-o-ow!

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Amy: That's very nice of you, but I do have a boyfriend.
Bert: That's what you all say. You just don't want to go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
Amy: No, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality, too. Like, way worse than you.
Bert: Don't worry. I'm used to it. I mean, I'm big and weird and funny-looking and no one ever wants to do anything with me.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Raj: Excuse me, I’m meeting a girl here. It’s kind of our first date.
Bert: In a library?
Raj: She and I are both a little awkward in social situations, so this seemed like a good idea.
Bert: People say I’m a little awkward, too.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Bert: (To Lucy, after speaking to Raj) You can do better!

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Amy: Hi, Bert. This is my friend, Penny.
Penny: Hi.
Bert: Hey, come on in. I'll go turn on some rock music.
Amy: (chuckles) That's a geology joke. Bert's a geologist.
Bert: And a joker.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Amy: I'm sure it's just 'cause I'm dating Sheldon.
Bert: Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's popular because he's dating you.

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