Raj: Tonight's the night!
Leonard: Yeah, the wait is finally over.
Penny: I know, then you'll finally stop talking about it.

Penny: Well, I'm going to stay positive. I told him what women liked and, after he stopped giggling, he seemed pretty sure of himself.

Meemaw: Let her go. And under no circumstance will you give her that engagement ring.
Amy: What ring?
Leonard: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Penny: Wow. The last time I saw my grandma, the most exciting thing was watching the ash of her cigarette get longer and wondering if it was gonna fall in her pudding.
Leonard: Did it?
Penny: Yeah, right in there. She ate it and everything.

Penny: All right, my advice to you is do it at her place so you can leave when you need to. Uh, tell the truth, make it quick and be prepared for tears.
Raj: Oh, I'm gonna do a pre-cry before I go in there. Really dry myself out.
Leonard: She meant Emily.
Penny: No, I - I really didn't.

Amy: Hey, let's go do something to get your mind off this.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, we should go out.
Bernadette: Where?
Penny: Uh, I don't know, a bar?
Bernadette: Can't drink.
Penny: We can, but all right.

Amy: Think about all the fun things you get to do when you have a baby.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. You get to buy toys and little clothes.
Bernadette: I kind of already do that for Howie.

Bernadette: You guys can go in if you want.
Penny: No, we're a team. If you can't go in, we're not going in.
Amy: Then why are we drinking?
Penny: Okay, it's not like she's got the Christ child in there, all right?

Penny: Thank you so much for helping us, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, I was just glad to be invited. To be honest, I don't always feel like I'm part of the group.
Penny: Okay, sweetie, we're on the clock here. Can you hate yourself and frost at the same time?

Leonard: They've been out there a while.
Amy: I hope everything's okay.
Sheldon: I wonder what they're talking about.
Penny: (eavesdropping at the door) If you guys would shut up, I could tell you.

Penny: Hey, guys.
Leonard: Hey. What are you doing here?
Bernadette: We heard there were some sexy scientists working hard all weekend.
Penny: Yup, so we brought you some lunch and we are gonna go look for 'em.

Raj: You can't let this stop you. Almost any scientific advancement can be used for destructive purposes.
Amy: It's true. Even Einstein's theory of relativity was later applied to the development of nuclear weapons.
Penny: E equals MC squared. Yeah. E is for energy, M for mass, and C for the speed of light.
Amy: How do you know that?
Penny: Oh, Leonard mumbles it when he wants sex to last longer.

Penny: Hey, listen, what if we have a little mother-in-law, daughter-in-law dinner tonight?
Beverly: So just the two of us?
Penny: Or I invite a few girlfriends, 'cause hearing you say the two of us just sent a chill right down my spine.

Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Hi, how was the screening?
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but only the white people felt bad.
Penny: Ugh, I should've never bought him that colouring book that explains Black History Month.

Penny: Well, then it's settled. Yay. So funny. I never thought my second marriage would be to you.