Penny: Okay, new Salon topic. Salons, dumb thing from a long time ago, or interesting thing made dumb by talking about superheroes? Discuss.

Penny: You know when they chase you out of there, you only have to run faster than Sheldon.

Penny: We had one of these growing up. I used to play all the time.
Raj: Oh yeah, I loved ping pong.
Penny: Oh, I meant beer pong.

Beverly Hofstadter: Come to Mommy.
Penny: It's okay. Go ahead. *Leonard hugs Beverly*
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, my son.
Leonard: Oh, my mother.
Penny: Oh, my God.

Penny: Yeah, and you certainly don't have to earn my love.
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: Of course you already knew that when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit.

Leonard: So... we're still getting married?
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: Because we love each other.
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: And it's the happiest day of our lives.
Penny: *short laugh* Don't push it.

Penny: You wrote vows?
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I don't have any. You're kind of making me look bad.
Leonard: I don't have to say them.
Penny: No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We've got this.

Penny: Nicely done.
Leonard: Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me.
Penny: Well, the night is still young.

Leonard: Do you remember when you accused me of trying to sabotage our wedding?
Penny: Uh-huh.
Leonard: I've been thinking about it and you might be right. But the good news is I'm pretty sure I know why.
Penny: I'm listening.
Leonard: Penny, after all these years I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
Penny: Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could have possibly come up. But I get it.

Bernadette: Come on, Leonard's doing bachelor stuff. You sure we can't take you to a strip club?
Penny: Nah, if I want to see a naked dancing man, I just flush the toilet while Leonard's in the shower.

Amy: How long do you think you can keep it from him?
Bernadette: Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse the longer you wait?
Penny: Well, not necessarily. You know, Dad's not getting any younger, so if I wait long enough, I'll just tell him he walked me down the aisle and it was magical.

Penny: Are you doing okay?
Leonard: I guess. I'm just, you know, worried about Sheldon.
Penny: Well, come on, he's a grown man in his 30s pretending to be a grown man in his 20s. He's fine.

Penny: Well, what are you gonna do?
Amy: I don't know. I guess I assumed that I would eventually date other people, but this is happening so fast.
Bernadette: What can it hurt?
Amy: Well, I was hoping the next person I dated would be a little less like Sheldon.
Bernadette: You mean, not a scientist?
Penny: I think she means not a weirdo.

Bernadette: Hey, you know who went out on a date the other night? Stuart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so, too.
Penny: So is she, like, homeless, or framing him for a crime?

Penny: Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.