Penny: I was in junior rodeo. I can hog-tie and castrate him in 60 seconds.

Leonard: More Halloween candy. Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?
Penny: Oh, yeah. That's gone. It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS hit at the same time.

Penny: Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard.

Penny: Hey, jerk face, you forgot your iPod.

Penny: You keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Howard: Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem. I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's 2 tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done.

Penny: I like hanging out with you guys, but I'm not gonna apologize for something I didn't do.
Leonard: Well, actually, technically, you did do it.
Penny: That's strike one, Leonard.

Penny: I'm a vegetarian, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I LOVE steak!
Sheldon: Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.

Penny: You gotta help me get my arm into my sleeve.
Sheldon: (Eyes closed) Okay!
Penny: Is that my arm?
Sheldon: It doesn't feel like an arm.
Penny: Then maybe you should let it go.

Penny: The great thing about Ernie (Sesame Street Puppet) is that he didn't ask for anything, he just gave.

Leonard: You know deep down inside, Howard's a nice guy.
Penny: The problem isn't what's on the inside. It's the creepy candy coating.

Penny: (About the cards) I got a question.
Leonard: Warlord beats troll, troll beats elf, elf beats water sprite, and basically everything beats Enchanted Bunny.
Howard: Unless you have the carrot of power.
Penny: Okay, I've got another question. When does this get fun?

Leonard: A long time ago, I made a deal with Howard involving you.
Penny: Okay, I don't know where this is going, but tread carefully, because this may be the last conversation we ever have.

Sheldon: It was you. I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentine's Day.

Penny: I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can't you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years!

Penny: Yo, Raj, talk to me. I'm sorry, just screwing with you.