Raj: How can I be okay? I come from a broken home!

Howard: It's not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn't going to rip my heart out?
Raj: Dude, that movie's an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of blood thirsty barbarians.
Howard: You love that movie.
Raj: Yeah, it's pretty great.

Howard: Is there anything I should know before I go in?
Raj: Like what?
Howard: Like am I dressed okay?
Raj: Really? So every other place you've been, you thought this was fine?

Raj: I did the research. Tony the Tiger, Dig'em the Frog, Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Count Chocula, Trix the Rabbit, Snap, Crackle and Pop. Not one cereal mascot is a girl. It's a total breakfast sausage fest.
Leonard: Are we done with this?
Raj: Almost. Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee, I believe his name is Buzz.

Leonard: If he's not nice, it's gonna make it hard for me to watch him in anything again.
Raj: The guy who plays Jon Snow was a jerk, we still watch Game of Thrones.
Leonard: He was a jerk because you rear-ended him.
Raj: I was distracted. It's weird seeing a member of the Night's Watch with a kayak strapped to his car.

Raj: Hang on. If you're really Nathan Fillion, what's the line from Firefly about your bonnet?
Customer: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
Leonard: That's it. That's the line.
Raj: Although, I knew the line, doesn't make me Nathan Fillion.

Penny: Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily?
Raj: I don't need science to win her heart, I have my family's wealth for that.

Emily: There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Oh, so kinda like what's happening with Penny right now.

Leonard: We spent $200 on six minutes of fun.
Raj: It's like when we bought that remote-controlled helicopter and it just flew away.

Raj: Thank you for forgiving me.
Emily: It's okay. At some point we were bound to have our first fight.
Raj: Well, it almost happened when you called my Apple Pie crust doughy. But the truth is, you were right and I was just angry at myself.

Raj: I know what it's like having to go through a loved one's possesions. My uncle was a worshipper of Krishna. But after he died, you know what we found? A statue of Shiva.
It might not be Crips & Bloods, but in India it's a thing.

Emily: If I stick a light bulb on this, will it make a great lamp for my bedroom?
Raj: You're kidding, right?
Emily: Oh, is this freaking you out?
Raj: I guess I'm just more of a Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel kind of guy. Maybe Pier 1 if I really want to cut loose.

Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, little bit.

Sheldon: Unhand me! This is ridiculous.
Howard: I told you to put tape on his mouth.
Raj: And I told you he bit me!

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."