Raj: But it is basic human nature. If we present him as a prize, maybe they would.
Howard: Well, he's smart, he's a respected scientist-
Sheldon: And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
Raj: I don't know if I'd say you - Oh.

Raj: Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. (Raj fumbles around trying to move the gigantic teddy bear. He knocks over various objects in Howard & Bernadette's living room)
Howard: You need some help?
Raj: No, I got it.
Bernadette: Raj, Raj, wait.
Raj: Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. (Raj falls over the teddy bear as he tries to move it out the door)

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Raj: What's the worst that could come of this meeting?
Howard: I don't know. They take the invention away, and I get nothing?
Raj: Okay, that's not so bad. You know what happened to the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project? The government forced them to move to the desert. They had to live in secret, and when Oppenheimer objected to what they made him do, they destroyed his reputation.
Howard: What's the point of that story?
Raj: I just read a book about Oppenheimer, seemed like a chance to show off.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Rajesh:So in Avatar, they have sex on Pandora by linking their ponytails. So their ponytails...are like their junk.
Wolowitz:Yeah, so?
Rajesh: Well when they ride the horses and birds they link their ponytails, too.
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Rajesh: My point is, if I were a horse or a bird I'd be really nervous around James Cameron.

Raj: Did you forget what Penny did to you? It took two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
Leonard: I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship.
Raj: I heard you called her Brown Sugar. In my book, that's defilement.

Raj: Oh sure. I sit on the floor for years and no one cares. The pretty white girl's there ten seconds and suddenly we're all running to IKEA.

Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why.
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what, that might be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. I fell off a few times.

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping.
Leonard: In my bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my own bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family and the memory of Gene Roddenberry.

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Sheldon: I want you to work for me again.
Raj: 'For you' or 'with you'?
Sheldon: In this context, 'for me' can mean 'with me'.
Raj: All right, but I have some conditions.
Sheldon: I reject them all.
Raj: I'll take the job. See you Monday.

Raj: Not only are there children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here.

Raj: If anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's in the same way I spend every Valentine's. Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, taking it home, standing over the sink and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

Raj: I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.