Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Raj: I say we wait until he looks at us then laugh, like "Yes, you're a smart and strong competitor but we're also smart and strong and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you".

Leonard: This is our year, with those guys out, the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod.
Penny: Zod?
Howard: Kryptonian villain, long story.
Raj: Good story. (Covers his mouth upon realizing he spoke to Penny sober)

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.

Howard: I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Rajesh: Maybe we're too smart. So smart it's off-putting.
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Raj: Can you believe it! He watched me work for 10 minutes and than he tried to build a little piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that really possible?
Raj: As it turned out, yes.

Penny: (Opening her apartment door) Oh, hey guys, what's up?
Howard: We need a hot fifteen year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year-old girl will do the trick. (Penny slams the door.)
Raj: It's possible she may have misunderstood us.

Dr. Gablehauser: Why are all these young women here?
Leonard: It's take your daughter to work day.
Dr. Gablehauser:: Really? I was not aware of that.
Raj: Oh, yes. There was a very official email that was sent to everyone whose insurance files indicated they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16.

Howard: So, road trip to Long Beach.
Leonard: No, we're not going to Long Beach.
Raj: Why not?
Leonard: Because Sheldon doesn't have a drug addicted cousin Leopold.
Raj: Oh, too bad. I've always wanted to go to Long Beach.
Sheldon: It's a very nice community. The Queen Mary is docked there. Once the largest ocean liner in the world, it's now a hotel and restaurant where they host a surprisingly gripping murder mystery dinner.
Raj: Sounds fun.

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Dr. Koothrappali: Tilt up the camera, I'm looking at his crotch.
Raj: Sorry, Papa!
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, there's much better. Hi.

Penny: Anybody need a refill?
Raj: (Drunk) Where did my life go, Penny?
*Everyone realizes Raj spoke to Penny.*
Raj: One day, I'm a carefree bachelor, the next, I'm driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.
Penny: Are you talking to me?
Raj: Is there another Penny here?

Mrs. Koothrappali: What are we suppose to tell Lalita's parents?
Dr. Koothrappali: I play golf with her father, I won't be able to look at him.
Raj: Why don't you keep your eye on the ball, Papa?

Mrs. Koothrappali: You are wearing the boxers we sent you, Rajesh?
Raj: Yes!
Mrs. Koothrappali: Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear the tighty-whities.
Raj: Can we please stop talking about my testicles?

Raj: You have lost so much weight. That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. Do you remember?
Lalita: Yes I do.
Raj: Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat?
Lalita: Well I've been trying.