Penny: Constance, are you sure I can't pour you some wine?
Meemaw: Oh, no wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: Here you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like - a lot in a glass.

Sheldon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to like each other. Well, we have a 4:30 reservation at Applebee's.
Amy: I think I should leave.
Sheldon: But why? Other than you two fighting, we're having such a good time.

Meemaw: Fine. If you feel so strongly, I won't stand in your way.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: So if he wanted to give me that engagement ring, we would have your blessing?
Meemaw: I suppose.
(Amy rub's Sheldon's shoulder and smiles)
Sheldon: I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon: Well, you know, here is something that might cheer you up. The flag of the Isle of Man is nothing but three legs sharing a weird pair of underpants, so ... you think you got problems.

Sheldon: All right. Nothing about this is fun. No one wants to talk about flags, and I haven't spoken in over ten minutes, so, enjoy your new show, Internet. "Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler Present ... With".

Sheldon: Raj, now, I'm sorry you're suffering. When Amy and I were broken up, I also suffered. And this may sound surprising, but I'm grateful for having gone through it.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: Yes. I believe our relationship now is stronger than ever.
Amy: So do I.
Sheldon: When we were apart, I learned how important you are to me. And I realize that when two people are in love, sometimes they-

Sheldon: Did you know the singular of confetti is "confetto"?
Amy: Interesting, and when would you use the singular?
Sheldon: I'm glad you asked. Amy, you have a confetto in your nose. No, no, no, no. Other side. There you go.

Sheldon: Not to mention the impact on our social circle. Everything's going to change. Howard won't be able to come over as much.
Raj: Well, he could bring the baby here.
Sheldon: Oh, but then we'd have to baby-proof the apartment. You know, my sister has one of those toilet locks in her bathroom. I have two doctorates, I still had to go in the sink.

Howard: If I'm gonna have any chance of raising this kid, I need to come up with a big idea to make some money.
Leonard: There's no reason you can't.
Howard: That's easy for you to say. You and Sheldon already came up with your superfluid helium model.
Leonard: That's just research. We're never gonna make any money from it.
Sheldon: Forget helium. The real superfluid is the fruit punch in this mug. It reminds me of my daddy's secret "Don't Tell Mama" juice.

Sheldon: That's some smart talk from a guy who can't even keep his face in focus.

Penny: Yeah, what is the problem? Is it about getting older?
Sheldon: Please! Look at this porcelain skin. I'm like a human sink.

Bernadette: What kind of cake do you like?
Sheldon: Well, my favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, three layers, and if there's writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. I don't need my dessert yelling at me.

Amy: If I may, I'd like to propose a toast. Um, thank you all for coming tonight. I know it's customary for the birthday boy to receive presents, but I feel like I got the greatest gift the day he was born.
Everybody: Aww.
Raj: Hear, hear.
Sheldon: Amy, that was lovely. You know, this is fun. Let's do more. Someone else say something wonderful about me.

Amy: Well, the guy at the store said this one is great.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, the guy. Oh, pardon me. I didn't realize you'd spoken to the guy. Yeah, tell me, did the guy choose one with a 4K display and a Thunderbolt port?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Did the guy make sure that this has a one terabyte solid-state drive?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Oh, well, was this guy Rick from Computer Solutions on Colorado?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, he does know his stuff.

Amy: So, no one else knows about this?
Sheldon: Only you.
Amy: Thank you for trusting me.
Sheldon: What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?
Amy: That's me, your emotional outhouse.