Sheldon: Hello?
Leonard: Oh, hey, where you been? We've been calling you for hours.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, my phone was on "airplane" mode.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because I was on an airplane. (makes confused gesture to Amy)

Dr. Harris: Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper. When Amy first told you about her approach to synaptic tracing, did you think it was gonna revolutionize the field?
Sheldon: Really? That's your question? What are you, Entertainment Tonight?

Sheldon: You know what? Let me give you a better question. Here, um, "Dr. Cooper, "I heard you were working on a top-secret project "for the U.S. military. Why don't you tell us about that?" See, that's a great question.
Dr. Harris: Okay, what was that like?
Sheldon: Oh, I can't tell you that, it's top-secret.

Sheldon: I realized that Iron Man is great. And also, that Captain America is great. And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie, and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie. You know, he can fly in, give the audience a thrill, and then fly away. And that should've been me tonight. I should've been the delightful cameo in your movie.
Amy: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Instead, I was like the Hulk, and I-
Amy: Okay, please stop talking about the Avengers.

Penny: (On the phone) Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny. Yeah, I think I broke your son. Hey, hold on. Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: Mommy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!

Sheldon: Wait a minute! You're not going to do anything?
Police Officer: Mr. Cooper, theres nothing-
Sheldon: Doctor Cooper.
Police Officer: Seriously?
Leonard: Not the kind with access to drugs.
Police Officer: Fine. Dr. Cooper. I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in Pandora.
Sheldon: That's from Avatar. World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Sheldon: Can you at least refer me to a rogue ex-cop?
Police Officer: What?
Sheldon: You know, one who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?
Police Officer: No.

Sheldon: It's all gone. All gone.
Leonard: I'm really sorry, Sheldon.
Sheldon: What kind of world do we live in, where a man would take another man's battle ostrich?

Leonard: I'm on it. (On phone) Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz. Is, is Howard there? Okay, thanks. (To Sheldon) That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.
Sheldon: See if Raj is done with Pilates.

Sheldon: Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Howard: Whoa! Somebody's auctioning off a jewelled ostrich bridle!
Sheldon: No. Glenn's was leather. He was a simple ostrich. Is! Is, I haven't given up hope.

Howard: So, how do you guys want to play this?
Sheldon: Be ruthless. You tell him if he doesn't start talking, we'll register a complaint with his Internet service provider.
Raj: Sheldon, what if he gets his Internet from his cable company? He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.
Sheldon: I don't care! I'm losin' it, man!

Leonard: Fine. You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back. What if he says no?
Sheldon: I don't know if you've been following the news, Leonard, but there have been some terrific advancements in the field of torture.
Leonard: No one's getting tortured.
Sheldon: Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva Convention.

Sheldon: But ask yourself this, in the course of our lives, how much lunch money has been taken from us? How many kites? How many Scooby-Doo Trapper Keepers?
Raj: I totally had one of those.
Sheldon: Of course you did. It was a fun and practical way of organizing your school work. But the bullies took it from us. Well, no more. Tonight, we take back our dignity, our birthright and our pride.

Sheldon: I almost feel sorry for the poor fool, sitting in his split-level suburban ranch, unaware that a vengeful horde is barreling down the San Diego Freeway at 71 miles an hour. Ease up there, lead foot. You trying to get us killed?