Leonard: We might want to live together.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, I've already given this some thought. And I'm willing to let Penny live with us, one day a week for a trial period. Now, obviously not when she's made cranky by the shedding of her uterine lining.

Leonard: Maybe I'll move in with Penny, or maybe she and I'll take this place and you can move across the hall.
Sheldon: Move across the hall?! Did you take a marijuana?

Sheldon: I see. You're putting your future bride's happiness above mine.
Leonard: Well, yeah!
Sheldon: Wow.

Amy: Here, I made you some Strawberry Quik.
Sheldon: I have real problems here, Amy. I can't be mollified with a beverage designed for children. *Takes a sip* Mmm, yummy.

Sheldon: I'm writing an appeal to the faculty senate so that I can move on from string theory.
Leonard: How's it going?
Sheldon: You tell me. "Dear esteemed colleagues. As you may know, I have requested to change my field of study. My decision to do so is, I believe, in the best interest of science. At your convenience, I'd be happy to explain it to you in words you'll understand."

Leonard: It's nice that you called them esteemed.
Sheldon: You're right, I'll take that out.

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

Raj: Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
Sheldon: Can't happen. We have an iron-clad relationship agreement which precludes her from sexual contact with anyone other than me.
Raj: But you don't have sex with her either.
Sheldon: Slick, huh?

Sheldon: Have you had intercourse?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Well stick to your guns. There'll be a lot of pressure.

Raj: Aren't you going to get 3D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking "bridge of nose Herpes".
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.

Sheldon: That was awkward, right?
Raj: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Is it because she's dating you but was out with that other fella?
Raj: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.

Sheldon: Quite all right. After my forehead melanoma scare, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

Sheldon: I thought that subject had run its course, so I changed it. It's called reading the room, Amy.

Sheldon: Wow. You're dead, so I'm going to let that slide.

Howard: Since we all agree Episode 1 isn't our favorite, why not just skip it this time?
Sheldon: Howard, I think you of all people should avoid espousing the principle that if something is not our favorite we should just get rid of it.