Leonard: I get that you feel bad about all the attention, but still what you did is amazing. We're really proud of you.
Amy: I'm not.
Sheldon: You're not?
Amy: Sheldon, I've been thinking about it and you're right. You don't deserve any credit. All you did was misread some numbers on a table. A very easy table, too. Honestly, I'm embarrassed for you.
Sheldon: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
Penny: Damn it, everyone's better at this than me.
Sheldon: Congratulations, Dr. Fowler. You just made the fort.

Sheldon: I hate to pile on the bad news, but I just got a raise.

Sheldon: This is the magic marker I was using when I made the discovery.
Amy: I don't think the Smithsonian is gonna want your marker.
Sheldon: And that's why you're not on my list for the tree fort.

Sheldon: I've got to find a way to stop this thing.
Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. Once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: Frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Sheldon: Oh stop it. I don't need to take this admiration from the likes of you people.

Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.

Sheldon: They called it the greatest thing since the Communist party. Although I'm pretty sure the Communist party made them say that. I like China. See, they know how to keep people in line.

Penny: How come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: For starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?
Sheldon: Oh, somebody call the burn ward. ... And back to the zone.

Sheldon: You want some mutton and coconut milk?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Boy I can not give this stuff away.

Sheldon: Amy, this isn't easy to say. All relationships are difficult. But even more so when you're with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions. And frankly, who can strike people as being kind of a weirdo.
Amy: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me. I mean, honestly, there's no telling what will set you off. Introducing myself as your boyfriend. Giving you the opportunity to drive me home. Breaking the ice with you colleagues using ethnic humor - the funniest kind of humor.

Sheldon: My point is we're a couple and I like you for who you are - quirks and all.
Amy: I like you too.
Sheldon: I should hope so. I don't see anybody else banging on this door to put up with your nonsense.
*Amy slams the door on Sheldon*
Sheldon: Not even a goodbye? You see this is the kind of thing that makes people think you're weird. ... Poor kid. She just doesn't see it.

Sheldon: It's a physical relationship, too. With hand-holding, hugging - even on hot days! ... Oww! Here's a new one, apparently we kick each other on the shins under the table.

Sheldon: Maybe your friend Gundersen needs to head over to IKEA and assemble a sense of humor.

Sheldon: Did you know that Los Angeles has a little Sri Lanka?
Leonard: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, I do now. They're a lovely people, although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them.

Sheldon: If you're hungry, I brought home mutton and coconut milk.
Penny: Why'd you do that? You hate lamb.
Sheldon: I was asking for directions. Apparently there was a communication problem.