Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 204 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: I don't know if I wanna play any more.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good lord, if that becomes a reason to not play dungeons and dragons, this game is in serious trouble.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Sorry, I'm late.
Leonard: What happened?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just didn't want to come.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Sheldon: The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Penny: What was my first strike?
Sheldon: March 18th, you violated my rule about forwarding email humor.
Penny: I did?
Sheldon: The photo of the cat who wants to "Has Cheeseburger?"
Penny: Oh, come on, everybody loves Lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell because they're cats.
Sheldon: I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me internet banality. Strike one. Touching my food. Strike two.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: (Playing Boggle) Oh, worf. Nice. Too bad that's a proper noun.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Penny: Mmm, what smells so good?
Sheldon: That is the intoxicating aroma of Kadhai Paneer. A perfect culinary representation of the freedom this evening holds. Not only is it Indian cuisine, which Koothrappali loathes, it contains a generous helping of peanuts, which would reduce Wolowitz to a wheezing 97-pound blister. And finally, its main ingredient is paneer, a farmer's cheese that would cause Leonard to render any room uninhabitable within minutes.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Leonard: Why don't you just tell people you're a zebra?
Sheldon: Why don't you just tell people you're one of the seven dwarves?
Leonard: Because I'm Frodo.
Sheldon: Yes, well, I'm the Doppler effect.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: My equations, someone's tampered with my equations.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Of course I'm sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics. The sign's been changed.
Leonard: Oh, yeah. But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? (looking at board) Are you--? Hey, look, that fixes the problem I've been having.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: I didn't know you eat here.
Sheldon: We don't, this is a disturbing aberration.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: It has been some time since we had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.
Leonard: That's not true, remember at Thanksgiving, my Grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode?
Sheldon: Point taken, it has been some time since we had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't wanna rip our eyes out.
Leonard: The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Penny: (Upset, about Kurt) 4 years, I lived with him. 4 years! That's like as long as high school.
Sheldon: It took you 4 years to get through high school?

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Penny!
Penny: Yeah?
Sheldon: That's where I sit.
Penny: So sit next to me.
Sheldon: No, I sit there.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: I'm gonna invite her (Penny) over. We'll have a nice meal and chat.
Sheldon: Chat? But we don't chat, at least not off-line.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really!
Sheldon: If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care. 2 millime--? That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. My father broke his clavicle.
Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
Sheldon: No. That was the result of my work with lasers.

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