Leonard: I thought Amy was going to drive you home.
Sheldon: I thought so too, but she's acting very strangely. I was discussing it with a Sri Lankan fella on the bus. He hypothosized that a tiger may have recently run across her shadow. Although he may have just been trying to drum up business for his brother-in-law's witchdoctor practice.

Amy: And this is Dr. Gundersen from Stockholm.
Sheldon: Ah, Sweden. Home of my favorite Muppet and second-favorite meatball.
*Dr. Gundersen and Amy look blankly at Sheldon*
Sheldon: Okay, the Nordic reputation for a lack of humor is well founded. Boy, is his name Gundersen or No-fun-dersen?

Amy: Where are we going with this Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: Oh please, I'm your boyfriend. Call me Sheldon.

Sheldon: That's right. I'm in a boy-girl relationship with this cute little lump of wool.

Sheldon: If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine. I mean really good.

Amy: It's actually steamier than it looks. Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in renaissance paintings.
Sheldon: Oh no, I got bored of that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.

Penny: How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
Sheldon: If you do that I'll scream.

Amy: I have some exciting news to tell you.
Sheldon: That makes two of us. My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days. ... Come on, one.

Sheldon: You know, riding with Leonard has got a little tedious lately. The only car game he ever wants to play is the quiet game. And he's terrible at it, I always win.

Sheldon: If I'd known this was about time travel, I'd have watched this much sooner.

Sheldon: More like Little House of the Prepostorous.

Sheldon: Alright, I'm mad at you. Not only did you ruin Raiders for me, you might have ruined the whole franchise. Except for the fourth one, which was bad before you got your mitts on it.

Amy: When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity", I didn't think you meant showing me Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
Sheldon: My apologies. I chose my words poorly. I should have said you were about to have your world rocked on my couch.

Sheldon: All right, are you familiar with the development that resulted from Honore Blanc's 1778 use of interchangeable parts? The assembly line, of course.
Penny: Okay, you know what, if I'm not allowed to be snide, you're not allowed to be condescending.
Sheldon: That wasn't a part of our original agreement, and I do not agree to it now.
Penny: All right, fine. How are we supposed to set up machines and conveyor belts in my apartment?
Sheldon: You're thinking of the moving assembly line, an understandable but not excusable mistake. No, the moving assembly line, that was introduced by Henry Ford in 1908. That innovation is what made possible our modern consumer culture by enabling a low-unit cost for manufactured goods. I guess that isn't one of the topics discussed on your Radiohead.

Sheldon: I'm not a child. I know the word 'ninny.'