Penny: The letter was found in Bernadette's closet. Doesn't that count for something?
Sheldon: Are you pointing out that California is a community property state and since Howard and Bernadette are married the intellectual property contained in that letter is jointly owned by the two spouses?
Penny: Yeah, obviously.
Sheldon: Well played. Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny.

Sheldon: I was actually trapped by Penny and forced into reveleaing confidential information about Howard's father.
Leonard: What information?
Sheldon: I can't tell you, I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality.
Raj: Just tell us.
Sheldon: Badgering me won't work. What would work is saying Penny would tell us anyway.
Leonard: Then that.
Sheldon: Very well. Everyone's on their game today.

Sheldon: They can't just cancel a show like Alpha, you know. They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season 'til we were grateful it ended.

Amy: (To sheldon) Hey, cuddles.
Leonard: Cuddles?
Sheldon: Yes, "cuddles". We cuddled. Grow up, Leonard.

Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton always says, there is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin.
Leonard: And he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.

Sheldon: If we really want science to advance, people should have chips implanted in their skulls that explode when they say something stupid.

Sheldon: Penny, all my life I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others: handshaking, hugging, prostate exams. But I'm working on it, you know? Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy's chest. A year ago, that would have been unthinkable.

Penny: This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. *runs off*
Sheldon: Penny, wait, come back. I'll get you ice cream!

Sheldon: I own nine pairs of pants.
Penny: Okay, that's a good start. But I was thinking something a bit more personal.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. I own nine pairs of underpants.

Sheldon: Penny, it's your lucky day. Three of these eggs are clearly not jumbo size. Grab your keys!

Sheldon: Stuart, I was wondering if you can help me find something.
Stuart: Happy to, unless it's hope or a reason to live?
Sheldon: Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.

Sheldon: Aquaman? This isn't a gag gift, Stuart.

Sheldon: All right, are you familiar with the development that resulted from Honore Blanc's 1778 use of interchangeable parts? The assembly line, of course.
Penny: Okay, you know what, if I'm not allowed to be snide, you're not allowed to be condescending.
Sheldon: That wasn't a part of our original agreement, and I do not agree to it now.
Penny: All right, fine. How are we supposed to set up machines and conveyor belts in my apartment?
Sheldon: You're thinking of the moving assembly line, an understandable but not excusable mistake. No, the moving assembly line, that was introduced by Henry Ford in 1908. That innovation is what made possible our modern consumer culture by enabling a low-unit cost for manufactured goods. I guess that isn't one of the topics discussed on your Radiohead.

Sheldon: Really? The only time I'm ever picked first for a team and I'm stuck with the liability?

Sheldon: Did you know that Los Angeles has a little Sri Lanka?
Leonard: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, I do now. They're a lovely people, although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them.