Bernadette: You bought a minivan?!
Howard: It's for the baby, and I didn't buy it. The dealer loaned it to me for a 24-hour test drive.
Raj: Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib, so you might have bought a minivan.

Bernadette: I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car.
Howard: The guy at the dealership said they're not just for moms anymore.
Raj: Then again, he did think you were my husband.
Bernadette: They thought it at the ultrasound. Why not at the car dealership?

Sheldon: So until Amy's apartment is fixed, she and I are living here together.
Bert: I lived with my old girlfriend. She was a geologist, too.
Amy: Things didn't work out?
Bert: I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. I'm warning you, hide your good rocks.

Stuart: Really, no one else is coming?
Sheldon: Oh, this is it. You are the practice round.
Stuart: Practice round? For-for what?
Amy: Uh, no. He just means that you were the first people we thought of.
Sheldon: You know, exactly. We've never thrown a brunch before, and I wanted to work out all the kinks.
Stuart: So, I'm like a lab rat before your real friends come over?
Sheldon: You see, your words sound reasonable, but your face looks angry.

Sheldon: Help me out here. This is not where I shine.
Amy: Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people.
Sheldon: Okay, now, see, you look sincere, but your words are completely false. I'm glad we did this test run. These brunches are wild!

Howard: What was I thinking? Wolowitzes are not a lifting people. We tip the lifting people!

Bernadette: Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room? They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time.
Howard: You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. Which, by the way, would fit easily in the back of this award-winning minivan.
Bernadette: Fine, we'll go to the E.R. Just stop selling me on the van.
Howard: You're right. It sells itself.

Bert: This is the best blintz I've ever had.
Sheldon: Oh, thank you.
Bert: It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn things took earlier.

Stuart: You know what, I think I'm just gonna go.
Amy: No, Stuart, don't.
Stuart: No, I consider you and Sheldon like my family, and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend. You have any idea how that feels?
Amy: We're so sorry.
Stuart: I'm always the last one anybody thinks of.
Sheldon: Well, no, that's not true. I mean, sometimes it's Koothrappali. But we're not supposed to say that 'cause he's a minority.

Stuart: You know what I love about you?
Sheldon: Hmm?
Stuart: You never leave the house without a paper clip!
Sheldon: You never know when two pieces of paper might temporarily need fastening in the top left corner.

Sheldon: Do you know what else I love about you?
Stuart: Hmm?
Sheldon: Your handwriting is impeccable!
Stuart: Thank you for noticing!
Sheldon: No, I mean it. I mean it. It's like you have the soul of a label maker.

Howard: Are we there yet?!
Bernadette: Soon.
Howard: Why is it taking so long?!
Raj: Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen. I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite!
Howard: I'm in too much pain (Batman music starts playing) to watch cartoo-- Oh! This is a good one.
Raj: I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Leonard: And that is how a short asthmatic scientist landed a stone-cold fox.

Amy: Well, thank you, Sheldon. This is a fun surprise.
Sheldon: Oh, well, the real surprise is how surprised you are that I'm great at surprises.
Amy: Well, that's not a surprise at all. I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises, I would have expected the surprise, and therefore not have been surprised. But as it is, I didn't know, and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising.
Sheldon: Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way.

Howard: Look at you. Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.