Guy #2: Ready to go?
Guy: Hang on. This guy's telling me how he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him.
Guy #2: This guy? But he's wearing a change maker.
Penny: I think it's hot.
Leonard: That's right. I'm her change daddy.

Howard: There's a baby in there.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.

Leonard: Oh, and look at this. I even got a change maker. How much change you want, little lady?
Penny: Oh, there's so much I want to change.
Leonard: Yeah, well, if it's a dollar, you're in luck.

Bernadette: Sounds expensive.
Howard: Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard, but you can't put a price on safety.
Raj: Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting.

Leonard: Never been on this side of the table before. I feel powerful.
Penny: Really? I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms.

Bert: I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, it tasted like a mimosa.
Amy: How old was it?
Bert: It's hard to say. I don't remember much after I drank it.

Sheldon: Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu?
Mrs. Petrescu: Yes. Drink is fun and good friends - Applebee's.
Sheldon: She's learning English from TV.
Mrs. Petrescu: TV, good. Now back to you.

Stuart: So, what did I miss?
Bert: Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.
Mrs. Petrescu: 15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Penny: What's your name?
Jeff: Jeff.
Penny: Okay.
Jeff: My favorite part is your shower scene.
Penny: Been hearing that a lot today.
Jeff: I even have a screen grab on my phone.
Penny: Yep, there they are.

Leonard: Should've punched that guy.
Penny: Well, go ahead. He's right over there.
Leonard: Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment?

Guy: Hi. I like your movies.
Penny: Thank you!
Guy: I saw both of them.
Penny: I assume we're still talking about the movies, but after today, who knows.

Raj: Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk!
Howard: Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, groceries in the other, and you're thinking, "How am I gonna open this trunk?"
Bernadette: I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband, and why isn't he helping me?"
Howard: You don't need my help when you can open the trunk with a simple kick of the foot.
Raj: No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong.

Mrs. Petrescu: My sister's husband took all her things, too. Story at 11:00.

Guy: But how did you get her to go out with you?
Leonard: Well, she moved in across the hall.
Penny: And he started to slowly wear me down.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Like a river carves a canyon.
Penny: Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards.

Howard: If childbirth is half this bad, you are so screwed!