Howard: (Interpreting for Emily #1) "I thought you were great, but, oh, my God, you were so dominated by your parents."
Emily #2: Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts. He's kind of a mama's boy.
Claire: Kind of?!
Raj: Whoa, okay! That's enough. (To Howard) Write down "loving son."

Emily: You know, the same thing happened to me. After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary, who's just amazing.
Howard: Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two?
Raj: Would you stop writing?!

Raj: Okay, maybe we should just end this.
Howard: Wait, hang on. I just want to point out to everyone here, this is a man who is going to great lengths to better himself. Even at the risk of being humiliated. And I, for one, think that's very brave.
Raj: Thank you, Howard.
Emily: Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together.
Howard: Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him to find Bernadette.

Leonard: We owe you an apology.
Sheldon: Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase, I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
Leonard: That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, I thought we were going in order.

Penny: Look, we got really angry at each other, and you just got caught in the middle of it.
Leonard: And sorry about the suitcase.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, you should be. Your socks were still in it. I had to throw it away.

Howard: I'll make you a deal. Thirty years from now, if you're still single and things don't work out with me and Bernadette you and I can give it a go.
Raj: I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two, I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.
Howard: Too late. Stuart called dibs.

Raj: You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
Amy: It's true. Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy.
Penny: Huh. So all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
Leonard: We can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter.

Penny: You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon?
Sheldon: Hey! I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
Penny: You gave me a bill at the end of every month.

Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: We were discussing Raj's recent breakup and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
Raj: It's okay, I'm fine.
Sheldon: You d- Don't fall for it. He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin, and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Sheldon: Wonderful. Although I'm not sure how I feel about being used as a guinea pig.
Leonard: Well, when you get the machine, you can find out.

Leonard: Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room, and if I leave the curtains open, I can watch it from work.

Amy: Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
Sheldon: You are happy?
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
Sheldon: Aw. Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth, but all right.

Leonard: I'm not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay.
Penny: Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
Leonard: Our gaming room! I was gonna put a scented candle in it.

Leonard: Stay out of this. You and your stupid machine started this fight!
Sheldon: (gasps) You are lucky that this feelings machine doesn't have feelings.

Sheldon: I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
Amy: Yes, you are. There have definitely been days when I was sad and you could tell.
Sheldon: Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel. You're kind of a sad sack. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just upset.
Amy: No, see, right there, you knew you hurt my feelings. And I'm proud of you - for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.