Amy: Hey, Sheldon, I found a great restaurant for date night.
Sheldon: Kind of busy right now.
Amy: Oh, an Euler's Disk! Fun!
Howard: Yeah, we're seeing if Raj can hold his breath longer than it.
Amy: Oh. Immature.

Leonard: (To Raj) Dig deep! Like when we bet you couldn't fit into Howard's pants!

Raj: Oh, Daddy, you're so rich and funny.

Dr. Koothrappali: So what else is going on with your life?
Raj: Uh, well, I was dating a woman at the university, but we broke up.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm sorry to hear that.
Raj: I know you are. That's why you just bought me a new iPad.

Raj: I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is deeply hurtful.
Dr. Koothrappali: You're also too sensitive. Women don't want that either.

Amy: The food here's supposed to be great. Don't fill up on chips.
Sheldon: Oh, I won't. I have a trick. I only eat equilateral triangles. Isosceles, isosceles, oh, scalene (breaks the corner off a chip and eats it) - You didn't see that.

Raj: It turns out he doesn't care if I'm married or if I'm single. He's basically given up on me.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
Raj: It is. He stopped trying to find Indian girls for me to marry.
Leonard: All you did was complain when he did that.
Penny: Leonard, he's hurting. Let him feel how he feels.
Raj: Thank you, Penny.
Penny: Yeah. Shoes, I'm a seven-and-a-half; boots, I'm an eight.

Penny: All right, how much exactly does he pay for?
Raj: Okay, I'll tell you, but please don't judge me. He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards.
Leonard: I'm trying, but I'm judging.

Amy: You know about that?
Bert: Uh, yeah, everyone at the university does.
Amy: Were you aware of this?
Sheldon: No. No, I only told Leonard, Howard, Raj, Kripke, uh, Professor Wu, Professor Klein, and a lunch lady in the cafeteria. How everyone else found out is a mystery to me.

Penny: All right. Hang on. We can figure this out. Let's just go over your expenses. How much is your rent?
Raj: I don't want to say.
Bernadette: Is it really that high?
Raj: I don't want to say because I don't know how much it is.
Penny: You don't how much your rent is?
Raj: My father pays for it! Do you know how much your rent is?!
Penny: Yeah.
Raj: Well, then double it, because my building's a lot nicer than this dump.

Leonard: Do you know how much your car costs?
Raj: Not really.
Howard: Well, how much do you spend on food?
Raj: The housekeeper does the shopping.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you really are spoiled.
Raj: I'm spoiled?! Your baby has a cape that costs $300!

Amy: Are you really worried about revealing secrets to Stephen Hawking?
Sheldon: No, I was just excited to list him as a friend.

Raj: We need to talk.
Dr. Koothrappali: All right.
Raj: I have come to an important decision. I will not be accepting your money any more. I'm a man, and I can take care of myself.
Dr. Koothrappali: That's wonderful!
Raj: Yes, that is wonderful! You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled!
Dr. Koothrappali: I am so proud of you.
Raj: Dad, I'm trying to tell you off, and you're ruining it with your delight and relief.

Sheldon: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please? I have recently been made aware that my personal relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler has become water cooler gossip. And I just want to say, shame on all of you. We're scientists. Our minds should be focused on the advancement of human knowledge, not the intimate details of other people's lives.
Bert: He's right. And I'm sorry for the part I played in this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Bert. You're a good man. That woman who stood you up and humiliated you last night really missed out.
Bert: That doesn't paint me in the best light.
Sheldon: Uh. Oh, I'm sorry. Correction: That woman not only had vigorous coitus with Bert, she also tipped him a dollar for a job well done. That better?
Bert: Not really.

Sheldon: All right, well, to sum up: Focus on science, keep your nose out of other people's business, and, uh, whoa, for a good time, call Bert.