Sheldon: MSN Search, AltaVista, and Ask Jeeves. You?
Amy: Sorry, I don't have a list of defunct search engines that I miss.

Amy: Sheldon, that was so sweet of you.
Sheldon: Well, I could deduce by his facial expression and body language that he was sad.
Amy: So the part where he got stood up didn't clue you in?
Sheldon: You want me to look at him and listen to him?

Raj: My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work is because I'm spoiled.
(Everybody is quiet, looking sheepishly away from Raj)
Leonard: I'm sorry, is he waiting for someone to disagree?

Howard: You don't need your dad's money. You can get by on your salary.
Leonard: Yeah. Well, we work at the same place as you, and we've always been fine.
Raj: Oh, please. Look in the mirror. You both look ten years older than I do.

Leonard: Hey, you guys let Stuart live with you. Why not Raj, too?
Howard: What-what are you doing? I-I-I schlepped the baby over, I brought imported beer. Why don't you like me?

Raj: I thought we were best friends!
Howard: We are! That's why I'm sad my best friend's gonna be homeless.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, Raj. We really just don't have the space.
Leonard: What if he lives in your garage?
Bernadette: What if you stop helping?!

Sheldon: This circle contains only me and you. It represents subjects we only share with each other. Details of physical intimacy, bathroom habits. Although, as I'm saying it, I may need to add Dr. Fink in here.

Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, no, my grown son is going to stop spending all my money. Where did I fail as a father?!
Raj: Yeah, that's right. Keep asking yourself that! But I still love you very much, so don't cut me out of the will.

Amy: Sheldon, it's humiliating. Thanks to you, my colleagues are gossiping about our sex life.
Sheldon: What is there to gossip about? We barely have one.

Amy: Well, I do appreciate you working on this. I'm sorry you were embarrassed.
Sheldon: And now I understand that some things are just between you and me, and in the event of redness and swelling, Dr. Fink.

Bert: Well, I really envy your relationship. Other than you two only having sex once a year, you're the perfect couple.

Amy: Actually, we met online. Our first date was at a coffee shop.
Sheldon: Although, unlike your date, she actually showed up. Oh, he looks sad again.

Amy: We should go say hi.
Sheldon: Why?
Amy: Because that's what you do when you see someone you know in a public place.
Sheldon: I have multiple restraining orders that say otherwise.
Amy: Sheldon, there's a difference between greeting a friend and following a celebrity into a bathroom.
Sheldon: If the judge couldn't explain it to me, I don't see how you will.

Howard: We're betting to see if Koothrappali can hold his breath longer than the disk can spin.
Sheldon: Its weight and smoothness, along with the slight concavity of the mirror, means it can spin for a long time.
Leonard: But Raj is from India, which means he's no slouch at holding his breath.

Penny: Okay, I want in. Ten bucks says I'll lose interest before that thing stops spinning.