Raj: Well, no offense, but I didn't go to art school. I have a PhD in astrophysics.
Stuart: Oh, great, it'll be easier for you to look up at the stars without a roof over your head.

Leonard: Did you know Raj moved out last night?
Penny: What? Why?
Leonard: "Leonard and Penny, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I went to stay at Howard's. P.S. Cinnamon's with me, but if you feel like messing with Sheldon, tell him she's loose in the building."

Leonard: Should we go bring him back?
Penny: Well, you're the one worried having someone live with us is a sign of problems.
Leonard: Oh, that was just because my mother got in my head. It's like being possessed, but instead of Satan, it's -- Actually, it's the same thing.

Leonard: You are not a burden, and we want you to come back and stay with us.
Raj: But I also upset Sheldon, and he's not gonna want to come over if I'm there.
Penny: More reasons for you to stay.

Stuart: (coming into the living room) Halley's fine.
Bernadette: You know she's at my parents' house, right?
Stuart: And she's having the time of her life.

Bernadette: Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever.
Stuart: Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby.

Penny: So, relax. We're happy to have you.
Raj: Thank you, but how do I know you're not saying that just to be nice?
Penny: Do you actually pay for that haircut?
Raj: That'll do it.

Sheldon: Beverly pointed out that I'm experiencing insecurities in my relationship with Amy, in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship.
Penny: What are you talking about? We're fine.
Sheldon: Yes, you're fine as long as you have a buffer living with you to distract from your marital problems. It used to be me. Now it's Raj and his attack Tribble.

Raj: Don't you even feel a little bad sponging off your friends?
Stuart: Hey, look, I went to art college, I tried to make it as a graphic artist, a comic book artist, and you know what I got for my efforts? A visible rib cage. I'm not kidding. You can see my heart beating.

Howard: Hey, look at that. You've got a Raj, we've got a Stuart. Maybe we should take them both to the park and let them run around together.
Leonard: I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms.

Raj: I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.

Leonard: Aw, man, did you see this post from Raj?
Penny: What? Is it another video of him and his dog Lady-and-the-Tramping some spaghetti?

Leonard: We do have Sheldon's old room. If he really needs a place to stay, I guess we should offer it to him.
Penny: You're a good friend.
Leonard: Am I still a good friend if I wait and hope that Howard offers him a place to live first?
Penny: You're an even better husband.

Howard: I know if the roles were reversed, he would do it for me.
Bernadette: Where would he stay? We already have Stuart.
Howard: Well, we can make some space in the garage. Maybe put a cot out there, get him a space heater, maybe a hot plate.
Bernadette: That sounds awful.
Howard: Let's hope he thinks so, too.

Amy: For the last time, no Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues.
Sheldon: Wow. I'm starting to think you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to spruce up the place.