Raj: Hey, so, Howard, what's the bathroom situation gonna be?
Howard: Well, there's a sink out there, so that takes care of half your problems.

Howard: Why are you asking all these questions?
Raj: Well, to be honest, Leonard's on the other line, and he offered me their spare bedroom.
Howard: Great! Go live there.
Raj: But you made the garage sound so fun.
Howard: I just didn't want you to feel bad about it. Unless Leonard's apartment also has a raccoon that chews its way in on cold nights, go there!

Amy: Don't listen to them. What's weird is that Penny almost got a science fact right.

Sheldon: I mean, it's unfair. People just assume I'm going to be upset by Raj moving into my old room.
Amy: But you are, aren't you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm outraged.

Amy: Talk to me. Tell me what's going on.
Sheldon: Well, that's been my room since before I met Leonard, and now someone else is going to be living in it. And that someone else is not me. And you know how I feel about people who aren't me.

Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Amy: You ready to go?
Sheldon: All set.
Amy: What's that?
Sheldon: A housewarming gift for Raj.
Amy: Well, a bunch of fake snakes better not spring out of it, 'cause that was a lousy anniversary present.

Sheldon: Before we eat, I have a little "welcome to the building" gift for Raj.
Penny: Wait, is anything gonna jump out-
Amy: No. I already asked.

Raj: This means a lot.
Sheldon: Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, and you just- You must be humiliated.
Amy: Sheldon-
Sheldon: Oh, good grief. She is such a stickler for citing sources. Those were Amy's words.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I know, I know! "Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez.

Raj: You're right, I am humiliated. Thanks for pointing it out. You're such a jerk.
Sheldon: Can you believe this guy?
Everybody: Yes!
Sheldon: I thought that was gonna break the other way.

Sheldon: You took my room. You turned my friends against me. I hope you're happy.
Raj: What do I have to be happy about? My life's a wreck.
Sheldon: How come he can say it and I can't?

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Why are you saying we have marital problems? We don't have marital problems!
Beverly Hofstadter: I see. You must be yelling at me out of wedded bliss.

Raj: You know, we're both down on our luck. Maybe you and I should try to get a place together.
Stuart: (chuckles) Okay, listen to me. There is no reason to leave here. This is great. Everyone's nice. It's comfortable. If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home.
Raj: Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you were more independent?
Stuart: Better than I feel in their steam shower? I don't think so.

Sheldon: Penny would be the entree. Then Leonard's basically a cheese course. And because I love you, you're dessert.
Amy: I want to say "aw," but I'm gonna say "ew."

Raj: No, you see, I'm doing this so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, grow as a person.
Stuart: Good for you. This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it.