Penny: Okay, listen to me. Your relationship can handle being long distance for a while. It's not like you two are very physical.
Amy: Hey, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
Penny: A lot of lectures?
Amy: All right, so you know.

Bernadette: So what happens next?
Howard: Phase two: we test it, perfect it, and hope to live long enough to see the movie based on our lives starring more attractive versions of us.

Bernadette: Want me to put on some Neil Diamond? That always makes you feel better.
Howard: No. You'll get all sexed up, and I'm not in the mood.

Iris scanner: Leonard Hofstadter. Access granted.
Leonard: Hmm. I don't care if this thing's burning out my retinas; it makes me feel special.

Leonard: Now, before we field test, I think we --
Howard: What the hell?
Leonard: Where is everything?
Sheldon: Who else has access to this room?
Leonard: It's a secure lab in a classified facility; only the U.S. government and us.
Sheldon: This is very disconcerting.
Howard: But the movie did just get good.

Leonard: Sir, I-I-I'm sorry but I just don't get it. You came into our lab in the middle of the night and took our prototype and all of our research and didn't even tell us?
Colonel Williams: Sounds like you get it.

Raj: Well, I may be moving out soon. I think I found a place to live.
Penny: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Raj: Really? You kept sending me apartment listings.
Penny: Um, well, I- Yeah, you got me.

Howard: How can you work on something for a year and they just take it?
Leonard: I can't believe the Air Force would treat us like that.
Sheldon: You know, I have a good mind to stop paying my taxes. It's too bad I enjoy doing them so much.

Sheldon: The Air Force did it again. They're erasing our lives!
Leonard: Third floor, wrong apartment.
Howard: Although, if anyone's gonna clean out your apartment and disappear, it'd be Penny.
Leonard: She might disappear, but she's definitely not cleaning anything.

Howard: I mean, an entire year wasted.
Bernadette: You might be forgetting another accomplishment of the past year.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, yeah, we brought life into the world.
Bernadette: Really? That's the importance you put on us having a baby?
Howard: I'm happy about it, but, I mean, it's not like I did much. I mean, after the first three minutes it was pretty much all you.

Sheldon: You're so kind. You know, I don't know how I ever got by without you.
Amy: Oh. That's sweet, but you you did just fine on your own.
Sheldon: Well, I thought that, too, but I've come to realize, I am completely dependent on you.
Amy: Sheldon, you're, you're being silly.
Sheldon: No, to wake up every morning and know you're there is a great comfort to me. (Eats oatmeal) Mmm, tasteless. How do you do it?

Bernadette: You're still gonna go, right?
Amy: I don't know. Sheldon's so vulnerable right now.
Penny: Oh, come on. Look, if the roles were reversed, he'd be on the first train to New Jersey. Or the second train if there were teenagers on the first one.

Bernadette: Well, distance might be nice. The last time a big project ended for Howie, he wouldn't stop following me around. He even went with me to get a mammogram.
Penny: Well, what's wrong with that?
Bernadette: No, he wanted to get one with me, like some kind of weird couple's massage.
Penny: And yet you bore his child. Neato.

Leonard: Sheldon, you're being silly.
Sheldon: Am I? Yesterday I had an Air Force project, a girlfriend who lived with me, and my good friend Raj right across the hall.
Leonard: Do you really care about that last one?
Sheldon: No, but that list was sounding a little thin.

Sheldon: I feel so betrayed. You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he's the other kind.