Bernadette: So what happens next?
Howard: Phase two: we test it, perfect it, and hope to live long enough to see the movie based on our lives starring more attractive versions of us.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Sheldon: And just remember, I am proud of you and I support you in all that you do.
Amy: Thank you. That means a lot.
Sheldon: Oh, and one last thing. If you find yourself working with a male scientist who's as smart as me, as tall as me and has hair like Thor, well, then I want you to step away from the situation and call me immediately.

Raj: I really can't thank you enough for taking me in. You know, I was in a pretty low place in my life, and-
Sheldon: (from across the hall) Oh, Amy, you naughty vixen.
Raj: Anyway, uh, as I was saying, I was at a pretty low place in my life and, uh, if it wasn't for friends like you-
Amy: (from across the hall) My goodness, that form of stimulation is highly efficient.
Raj: I can't compete with that.

Leonard: Should we give them their privacy?
Penny: I want to, but I don't think I can.
Sheldon: (from across the hall) Whoopee!
Penny: Okay, I'm good now.