Amy: I gave you one job! Keep an eye on him. How hard is that?

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Bernadette: We didn't want you to worry.
Amy: Should I worry?
Penny: No, come on, it's Sheldon. Nothing is gonna happen.
Amy: That's what you said to me when I started dating him. And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened.

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Amy. *knock knock knock* Amy. *knock knock knock* Amy.
[Amy opens the door. Sheldon is on one knee, holding out an engagement ring]
Sheldon: Will you marry me?

Penny: Come on, looks don't matter to Sheldon. ... Because he only has eyes for you!
Amy: Nice try.
Penny: Thanks, I was scrambling.

Amy: I've been smacking that ketchup bottle for a long time. All she has to do is tip it over and point it at her fries.

Penny: Not only did they eat together, Leonard said he made her laugh.
Bernadette: That's nothing, Howie said she touched his hand.
Penny: Did he Purell?
Bernadette: No.
Penny: I cannot believe Leonard mentioned the Toblerone but left that part out.

Penny: All right, this is making me crazy. Somebody's got to go over there.
Leonard: You got feet and legs, you do it.

Sheldon: That was fun. It was like Mario Kart.

Penny: Okay, let's try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Sheldon: I already do.

Penny: Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?
Bernadette: (grimacing with disgust) Ugh. How can you think that? Why would you even put those words together?

Leonard: Uh, so, Ramona, tell us about yourself. Do you, do you have a boyfriend?
Sheldon: Leonard, your wife is sitting right here. What are you doing?

Raj: What just happened?
Howard: A stranger just lured Sheldon away with a candy bar.

Sheldon: I've learned some fun facts about New Jersey to help you make small talk. Would you like to know the state bird or the murder rate? They're both shocking.
Amy: Actually, I want to hear about you. How are things at home?
Sheldon: Well, I'm a lot less likely to see an Eastern Goldfinch or be murdered, I'll tell you that.

Howard: How's Sheldon doing with Amy gone?
Leonard: Well, the last three nights I've had to take him to get a haircut, to the train store, and to a Walgreens in Arcadia where they still have the "good ibuprofen." Now, ask me how I'm doing with Amy gone.
Raj: How are you doing with-
Leonard: Shut up.