Bernadette: (off-screen) Howard! Can you help me to the bathroom?!
Howard: Well, at least the romance is still alive.

Amy: What you got there?
Sheldon: A rock.
Amy: Did some mean boys throw it at you?
Sheldon: It turns out I'm the mean boy. Although I did drop it on my own foot, so kind of.

Ruchi: I was supposed to go back to India and get married, but I realized it wasn't what I wanted. So I called off the engagement and moved out here.
Raj: Well, if he wasn't your soul mate, he wasn't your soul mate.
Ruchi: Oh, God, please tell me you're not one of those.
Raj: One of whats?
Ruchi: I want to say teenage girls, but that sounds mean.

Raj: Come on, you don't believe that everyone has one perfect match?
Ruchi: Of course not. That's ridiculous. I mean, what if your soul mate lived halfway across the world? You'd never meet.
Raj: Yes, you would. I can give you, like, 20 examples where that happened to Kate Hudson alone.

Raj: Love isn't just science. Okay? It's-it's spiritual. It's an acknowledgment of a mystery that's greater than ourselves. It's what makes people write songs and poems, and what has kept The Bachelor on TV for 21 magical seasons.
Ruchi: Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize on a game show slightly undermines your argument?
Raj: Uh, yes. But I've never missed an episode, and I dare science to explain that.

Sheldon: Leonard, what are you doing here?
Leonard: Bert asked for my help.
Bert: Yeah, he's an excellent scientist, and he doesn't tell me what time I can go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: It's called bladder training. When you're in your 80s, you'll thank me for it.

Leonard: So you just shut the door in his face? I got to start writing this stuff down.

Raj: I mean, Ruchi's nice. We're just so different.
Howard: I know. Sometimes when you're dating, you meet weird people.
Bernadette: I once met a girl who didn't like juggling. And she still doesn't.

Ruchi: Are you sure you're okay with this?
Raj: Honestly, Ruchi, I don't have a lot of experience with casual relationships. I have some experience with serious relationships and a ton of experience with no relationships.

Ruchi: This place seems nice.
Raj: Uh, but not too nice. Yelp called it "good for groups."

Raj: I just thought we could, you know, hang out and go to a bar.
Leonard: Sure.
Sheldon: Very well.
Howard: Sounds fun.
Raj: And watch cricket. (silence)
Howard: That sound you hear, ironically, crickets.

Raj: I hope this isn't awkward. The last time we met, I kind of embarrassed myself.
Howard: Let's see if you can go two for two.

Raj: Are you here by yourself?
Ruchi: Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone to come watch cricket with me.
Howard: (chuckles) Tell me about it. I had to drag this guy.

Sheldon: (on the phone) Hello, Amy. (stammers) What do you mean, where am I? I'm in my office.
Amy: No, I'm at your office and you're not here. I thought I'd surprise you with dinner.
Sheldon: For future reference, the best surprises are the ones I know about three days in advance.
Amy: Where are you?
Sheldon: It's a surprise. Doesn't feel so good, does it?

Raj: Good morning! Scones?
Stuart: Ah, thanks.
Raj: They're all for you; I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.
Howard: You're kidding. You slept with her?
Raj: Well, there wasn't a lot of sleeping involved. I mean, she slept, I stayed awake. I was afraid of snoring 'cause I didn't have my special pillow.