Sheldon: I'm working with Bert, but I don't want anyone to find out.
Penny: Well, you just told me, so strong start.

Sheldon: I am a respected theoretical physicist. I aspire to win a Nobel Prize someday. But nobody's gonna take me seriously if they find out I've been dabbling in geology.
Penny: Well, why not? They're both sciences. And I know because they're classes my high school counselor said "weren't for me."

Howard: Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest, we're gonna have to divide and conquer. I've got one monitor for her, one for the baby. Which do you want?
Stuart: I'll take the baby. She's less emasculating.

Penny: All right, when do you see her next?
Raj: Uh, we're having dinner tonight.
Penny: Okay, put a rubber band around your wrist, and any time you start planning your wedding or naming your children, I want you to stab yourself in the hand with a fork.
Raj: What's the rubber band for?
Penny: To slow the bleeding.

Bert: Sheldon, you left your jacket in my office last night.
Sheldon: Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't. That's-that's not my jacket.
Leonard: Then why does it say, "Property of S. Cooper. Stop touching it."?
Sheldon: It sounds like someone named Scooper doesn't want you touching his jacket.

Amy: I'm just saying, if you think the work is interesting, nothing else should matter.
Sheldon: You're right, Amy. That is sage advice. Which is surprising, considering your momma is so dumb, she-
Amy: (Gets up and leaves) Nope.
Sheldon: (After Amy's gone) She studied for a urine test. (chuckles)

Bert: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I would like us to work together again. I promise to keep my geology comments to myself, because while some of them are funny, all of them are mean.

Leonard: Look, Sheldon, you were a jerk to Bert, and he walked away from you. So I feel like there's a lot he could teach me.

Howard: So how was your night with Ruchi?
Raj: Oh, great. We ordered in some food, we had sex, I left. I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it.
Howard: (chuckles) I can field that one for her.
Raj: I mean, I did get a little misty when we said good-bye, but I played it off as allergies. I don't know if she bought it.
Howard: Again, I know.

Bert: Well, you know, we geologists always get a little sad when Rocktober's over.

Raj: Hey, uh, who's free tonight?
Leonard: Oh, I think I'm-
Sheldon: Hang on. We've made this mistake before. It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.
Raj: Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, and you know it.

Sheldon: Oh, so they would act as natural dark matter detectors.
Raj: That sounds interesting.
Sheldon: It does, but it's still geology. Sorry, Bert, I don't have time to play rocks with you.

Sheldon: Thank you for asking. Unfortunately, I have real science to do. But you feel free to rock on. (To Leonard) That's how you do it.

Leonard: Sheldon, what are you doing? Bert's one of the top guys in his field.
Sheldon: And somewhere there's a mime who's top in his field, but you don't see me rushing to collaborate with him on new ways to be stuck in a box.
Howard: Also something I would watch instead of cricket.

Ruchi: Arre uske taang pay ball kar!
Howard: What'd she say?
Raj: Uske taang pay ball kar.
Howard: Oh, that clears that up.
Raj: Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
Ruchi: I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
Raj: Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence!
Ruchi: Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so-
Raj: Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, there's, like, 120,000 people.