Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, what's going on?! Are you boys roughhousing?!
Howard: No, we're not roughhousing! We're scientists! Scientists don't roughhouse!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Grown-up!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends!
Howard: They're not my little friends, and we don't want cookies!
Leonard: Actually, a cookie sounds good.
Howard: All right, we'll have cookies! Thank you very much!

Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.

Penny: I cannot believe you're mad.
Leonard: I'm not mad.
Penny: Oh, really? Tell that to your eyebrows. Bet I could place a quarter between them, and it would just stay there.

Raj: Wait, what's Bitcoin?
Sheldon: It's a new online currency that's been developed. Uh, it's just like actual money, except you can't see it, hold it, or spend it on anything.
Stuart: Sounds like the kind of money I'm familiar with.

Raj: I'll buy some Bitcoin. I just came into a little extra money when my dad raised my allowance.
Sheldon: You don't have to buy Bitcoin. You can mine it.
Leonard: Mine it? Like, mining gold?
Sheldon: Sort of. There's a limited amount, and we find it not by tunneling into the earth, but by using a computer to solve complex mathematical problems.
Howard: So let me get this straight. We have to write an elaborate program in order to find a fake coin that we can't spend on anything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That sounds fun.
Raj: Yeah, I'm in.
Leonard: Staying up late, writing code, it sounds like a party.

Leonard: So what are you gonna do with your share of the money?
Raj: Uh, well, as a responsible adult, I'll put that money into a CD, wait for that CD to mature, and then buy a tiger.

Leonard: How about you?
Howard: Oh, that depends on whether I tell Bernadette or not.
Bernadette: Howard, I can hear you. The baby monitor is on.
Howard: I know. I was joking. I'm gonna put it in a college fund. (Mimes saying no)

Raj: Wow, I-I know you were single back then, but that is a lot of porn-
Howard: Science! A lot of science.
Leonard: Wow, you were really into Asian science.

Leonard: Aw, man, what happened?
Howard: It crashed. It's been doing that lately. I think it's got a virus from all the music I've been downloading.
Raj: What kind of music?
Howard: Mostly Asian. Some oldies.

Leonard: That's right. It must be on my old laptop.
Raj: Well, let's go.
Howard: Hey, Bernie, you mind if I run to Leonard's and-
Bernadette: Get a laptop full of money? Why are you still here?! Go, go, go!

Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.

Penny: It was a long time ago, we were broken up.
Raj: Which breakup was that? Was that the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre?
Howard: No, no. This might've been during the Comic-Con Dump-A-Thon.
Penny: You have names for our breakups?
Raj: Well, they would really blur together if we didn't.
Sheldon: The Comic-Con breakup's easy to remember because Leonard was the saddest Pikachu.
Amy: Right, and he wiped his nose on your cape, and then you were the saddest Darth Vader.

Penny: I'm so sorry to hear about you and Howard.
Bernadette: Thanks. I just didn't think he was the kind of guy who would be doing weird stuff online.
Penny: Really? Wow, I thought it was so obvious, but okay.