Stuart: Do you still want to go out with me?
Denise: Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together.
Stuart: That's a good one.
Denise: Do your 63 other crayon friends know you're out?
Stuart: Are you just gonna make fun of me all night?
Denise: Probably.
Stuart: Great. So what are we thinking, Chinese?
Denise: Yeah, I'm in the mood for orange chicken.

Sheldon: Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. That's the beauty of it. Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like. For instance, I understand that there is an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. Perhaps you heart him. Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist Noha Yossry. Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice actress who starred in Sally the Witch.
Raj: Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."?
Sheldon: I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. Draw your own conclusions.

Amy: Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends. They know us better than anyone. They said it's the perfect gift. We must be missing something. You don't think it's a marital aid, do you?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage?

Amy: Let's just go to sleep. We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, and maybe it'll come to us.
Sheldon: Fine.
Amy: Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue.
Sheldon: Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? Who knew married life could be this good?

Sheldon: Now, do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift?
Howard: Well-
Sheldon: Don't answer. I don't want to know. I just want to know if you know.
Howard: I do know.
Sheldon: Okay, great. I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt that will lead us to the actual present?
Howard: If you're asking if you and Amy should spend the next couple days running all over town searching for the next clue, I'm gonna have to say yes.
Sheldon: I knew it! This is so much fun.
Howard: Oh, it really is.

Bert: Wow. A scavenger hunt. That's exciting. I had a bit of a scavenger hunt myself last night. I was trying to find the remote. I looked under one of the cushions. Wasn't there.
Then I lifted the cushion a little higher. Bingo.
Amy: Riveting.

Dr. Koothrappali: Hello?
Raj: Hey, Dad.
Dr. Koothrappali: Rajesh. What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday.
Raj: Yes. That's why I'm calling. And-and what better gift to give you than the gift of marrying an Indian woman, just like you've always wanted.
Dr. Koothrappali: My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news. Who is she?
Raj: You tell me.
Dr. Koothrappali: What?
Raj: I want you to arrange a marriage for me. I'm just so tired of being single, and I'm finally just I'm-I'm ready to settle down.
Dr. Koothrappali: I can't just call up some girl's dad and make her marry you. It's-it's not 2015 anymore.

Amy: We wrote you a special thank you note.
Leonard: Oh.
Penny: Are those words?
Sheldon: No. It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together.
Amy: Hint: it's based on Sanskrit, but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. (laughs)
Sheldon: And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat.
Amy: Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, and the answer to this is your new password.
Leonard: I'm no longer happy.

Raj: Okay, let's have a whiff. Oh. (sniffs) Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne.
Stuart: Ooh, you're good. I bought it at a swap meet. It's actually called "Smells Like Paco Rabanne."

Amy: Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows?
Sheldon: Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Okay, Westworld. But this has nothing to do with that show, other than it's also inexplicable.

Howard: If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.
Bernadette: I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

Amy: So, we got everybody gifts.
Penny: Aw.
Leonard: Did you forget about us until you were at the airport?
Sheldon: No. We forgot about you until we were on the plane. Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, and I have Amazon Prime.

Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.

Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.

Amy: I wonder what it could be.
Sheldon: Oh, could be anything. A flute, a letter opener, one of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.