Howard: How are you two married?
Leonard: You were there. I wore her down.
Penny: He did.

Raj: You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. I mean, me and Anu already know so much about each other.
Bernadette: Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer?
Raj: Uh, no, that's Annette. Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. We're going on our first date tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to see Annette.

Bernadette: How do you feel about this?
Howard: That she can clearly do better, but that's not for me to say.

Leonard: How do you feel about children?
Penny: Um, they're okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Leonard: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Penny: (chuckles) I just said I wouldn't.

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.

Bernadette: The same thing happened to me. Penny said she didn't want kids, and I told her she was being silly, and she accused me of being condescending. Which is crazy, because if I wanted to be condescending, I would've said, "Ooh, 'condescending.' That's such a big word."

Howard: Why won't our friends just listen to us? We obviously know what we're talking about.
Bernadette: I know. We're married, we have great kids, great jobs, this great house. ["Smooth Operator" starts playing in Stuart's room again]

Penny: Hey, Leonard, remember yesterday when we were talking about having kids someday? Yeah? Well, what if it wasn't someday.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
Penny: No. No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Leonard: So?
Penny: No.

Howard: Hey. Mind if I sit?
Raj: Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake by having this blueberry muffin and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did?
Howard: No.
Raj: Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. Although that cinnamon roll does smell good if you're open to halfsies.

Bernadette: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Yeah?
Bernadette: It looks like you could crack a walnut in those glutes.
Howard: I can't. I tried.

Penny: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: I made you dinner. Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger out of the wrapper on a plate.

Anu: I told my parents our first date went well and they got very excited.
Raj: Oh, tell me about it. My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. So that was a disaster.

Leonard: Are you gonna tell me where we're going? Because if it has the words "farmers" or "market" in it, I don't want to go.

Penny: You were talking about all the things you thought you would never have, so I thought I would get you one.
Leonard: Oh, my God. You bought me the Batmobile?!
Penny: No. No. No, no, no, no, no. I rented you the Batmobile for the day.
Leonard: This is amazing. Thank you.
Penny: Be careful. I did not get the insurance.

Howard: I've known you a long time. You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met and it's hard to see you give up on that. But if you really think marrying this woman is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support.
I will be with you every step of the way.
Raj: Thanks, Howard. That means a lot.
Howard: So, hey, is this wedding gonna be in India?
Raj: Ah, maybe.
Howard: Urgh.