Anu: I never thought I'd let my family set me up, either, but I'm 34, I'd like to have kids and it's hard to date because I work so much.
Raj: Oh, yes, uh, you're a concierge.
Anu: For now. I plan to be managing a hotel in the next five years. Four, if I can get the current manager out of the way. He's a smoker, so fingers crossed.

Raj: I get it. You know, um, I used to have a long list of what I wanted from a wife.
Uh, eyes like Sandra Bullock, hair like Sandra Bullock, and the bravery of Ryan Stone.
That's Sandra Bullock's character in Gravity. But now, I just want someone nice.

Anu: I think I'm nice. Are you nice?
Raj: Oh, I'm definitely nice. Every time a girl breaks up with me she always starts with, "You're a nice guy."

Penny: Hey, want to get lunch?
Bernadette: I can't. Halley and Michael were up all night, and I'm way behind here.
Penny: Oh, no, are they sick?
Bernadette: No. They were just laughing and playing like a couple of jerks. Boy, they're cute, but they ruin everything.
Penny: I get that. You know, I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't want kids.
Bernadette: Are you crazy? Of course you want them. It's amazing.
Penny: You just said they ruin everything.
Bernadette: I'm allowed to. It's their fault I pee when I laugh.

Penny: Hang on, why is it crazy to say I might not want kids?
Bernadette: Oh, it's not crazy. It's just wrong. You only think you don't want kids, but once you have kids, you'll realize that you did want them.
Penny: Or I don't want them, so I won't have them, so back off.
Bernadette: Aw, you sound just like me before I became a mom and learned what the meaning of love was.
Penny: Wow, I cannot believe how condescending you're being.
Bernadette: Look, I know it's scary, but you're gonna be a great mom.
Penny: I know I'd be great, but the point is I don't want to be one.
Bernadette: Maybe you wouldn't be great. You kind of got a temper.

Howard: Wait, you're not seriously marrying a woman you've met once.
Raj: Why not? She's nice, I'm nice. We're just as likely to be happy as any other two people. Maybe even happier. (to Leonard) Sorry, that was not a swipe at you.
Leonard: I didn't think it was.
Raj: Yeah, good, 'cause it was not.

Raj: Why can't you just be happy for me?
Howard: Because you're being dumb. You don't know anything about her.
Raj: Well, how come you all get to be married and I have to stay single?
Howard: I think that's a question for a licensed professional.
Raj: You know what, you're not just insulting me. Okay? You're insulting my family, my culture and my future bride, Anu, a vegetarian with a master's degree from Cornell whose favorite fruit is pineapple.

Sheldon: Now, I'm not sure if this helps, but did you know that pineapples were once so rare that King Charles posed for a portrait with one?
Leonard: How does that help?
Sheldon: Oh, it helped me. I've been trying to slide that into a conversation for years.

Leonard: It's just Penny hit me with some pretty big news and it's a lot to process.
Sheldon: And you'd like to do that quietly. I respect that.
Leonard: She said she doesn't want to have kids.
Sheldon: Maybe she didn't mean it, like when you said you didn't want to talk about this.
Leonard: Forget it.
Sheldon: Do you want to have children?
Leonard: Well, I always assumed we would and now I find out, you know, I might be the last of the Hofstadter line.
Sheldon: Doesn't your brother have children? And your sister. She kept the Hofstadter name and has five healthy boys: Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William and baby Richard.
Leonard: I'm going back to being quiet.
Sheldon: Sweet.

Penny: This is between me and Leonard.
Amy: Screw Leonard! We were supposed to get pregnant together. We were gonna be barf buddies. We were supposed to massage each other's perineums with vitamin E.
Penny: I'm about to be your barf buddy right now.

Penny: Listen, when you have kids, I'm still gonna be there. I'm gonna be their fun Aunt Penny who gives them candy, and teaches them swear words and tells them stories about what a weirdo their mother is.
Amy: I guess I could live with that. What is gonna be hard is letting go of the dream of us breastfeeding each other's babies.
Penny: And it's gonna be hard to forget you said that.

Anu: I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, we should talk about the next steps.
Raj: Oh, like themes and flowers?
Anu: Actually, finances and taxes.
Raj: Oh. We can't use that. That was the theme of my parents' divorce.

Anu: Look, your whole sweet, insecure thing is cute, but honestly, I have no time for that. If you're not serious about this, you need to walk away now.
Raj: I-I am serious.
Anu: Good.
Raj: Okay. (chuckles) Okay, what does this mean?
Anu: I think it means I might be the future Mrs. -
Raj: Koothrappali.
Anu: How would you feel if I didn't change my name?
Raj: A little hurt, but you wouldn't know, because I'm too nice.

Anu: Raj. I know we don't know each other very well, but you seem like you'd make a good father and you're tall enough so I can wear heels and I think that's something worth fighting for. Will you marry me?
Raj: (stammering) Oh, my God, oh, my God. Yes, of course, of course I'll marry you!
Anu: If you'd like to kiss me you can.
Raj: Oh, great.
Anu: I should warn you I have a tongue piercing.
Raj: Oh, you're not that nice. (laughs)

Bernadette: So, Penny, we were talking to our neighbors, and they're thinking of moving and selling their house.
Penny: Really? Why?
Howard: Something about babies crying and keeping them up all night; it's not important. You guys should totally take a look at it.