Bernadette: You okay? You seem distracted.
Howard: I'm just thinking about Raj.
Bernadette: I'm thinking about Chris Hemsworth.

Raj: Recently, 12 new moons were discovered orbiting Jupiter, bringing the total up to 79.
As a middle child myself, I'd like to extend my sympathies to moons two through 78. Your grandpa will never learn your name. I'd like to thank you for joining me on this journey through the stars. If you enjoyed this lecture, please come back Thursday for the exact same one.

Raj: I came here for your support.
Leonard: Well, then, you just walked up three flights of stairs for nothing.
Penny: Wait, don't you mean four flights?
Leonard: No, it's actually three.
Penny: But we're on the fourth floor. I mean, you have the lobby, first floor, second, third, fourth.
Leonard: The lobby's the first floor, so lobby, second, third, fourth.
Penny: That does not seem right.

Sheldon: Oh, good, we caught you.
President Siebert: Yes, good.

Penny: So when was the last time you saw Howard in his astronaut uniform?
Bernadette: About a week ago.
Penny: Really? What was the occasion?
Bernadette: Date night. We do a little role-playing.
Penny: What role do you play?
Bernadette: (Russian accent) I am Ykatarina Nazdorovya, lonely Russian cosmonaut who is expert at physics and making love.
Penny: Okay, that just made the next hour really weird.

Sheldon: I'm having a problem in my marriage. I've upset my wife and I don't know how to make it right.
Professor Proton: (chuckles) And you're and you're coming to me for advice? I-I upset my wife every time I woke up in the morning.

Raj: And we are fortunate to have one of those men here with us tonight. Please welcome to the Griffith Observatory astronaut Howard Joel Wolowitz.
Bernadette: [fanning herself with the program] Kak horosho.
Leonard: What is she ta-
Penny: Don't ask.

Howard: Do I look like I just woke up?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Great. I'm gonna go say hey to Raj.

Leonard: What were you guys giggling about?
Penny: They were passing notes to each other.
Leonard: Oh-ho, love notes?
Penny: If you love math.
Sheldon: And we do.
Amy: It's for our super-asymmetry theory.
Sheldon: Yeah, Amy and I have been having so much fun collaborating together.
Penny: Well, you know what they say, you never collaborate as much as your first year of marriage.

Raj: Oh, Howard, uh, this is Andrea. She's the director of the planetarium.
Andrea: Hi.
Howard: Nice to meet you. I'm Howard Wolowitz. Engineer, husband, father, astronaut.
Andrea: Really? You're an astronaut?
Howard: Well, I don't like to brag.
Raj: Hmm, yeah, but somehow, you manage.

Andrea: Raj, you should have Howard join you for one of your shows.
Howard: Oh, that might be fun.
Raj: It might be, but with two small children at home and a full-time job, I'm sure you're too busy.
Howard: No, I could find the time.
Raj: Well, you don't have to decide right now.
Howard: It's okay, I-
Raj: He can't do it.

Sheldon: Hey, hurry up, guys. The gift shop's closing, and Amy said I can get one big thing or two little things.

Amy: So I'm gonna place the sensory isolation helmet on you for about five minutes. All you need to do is sit still and relax.
Colin: What do I do if I start to get claustrophobic?
Amy: Oh, the helmet will sense that and stop the experiment.
Colin: Really?
Amy: No, but that would be cool, wouldn't it?

Sheldon: Amy, are you busy?
Amy: I've got a subject wired up for a sensory study.
Sheldon: So...?
Amy: Yes, I'm busy.

Amy: I'm tracking a subject's brain activity in real time as we introduce olfactory stimuli.
Colin: I'm smelling baby powder.
Amy: That's just my husband.