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Quotes from ‘The Imitation Perturbation’

The Imitation Perturbation

The Imitation Perturbation
Season 12, Episode 6 - Aired October 25, 2018

Sheldon is offended when Howard dresses up like him for Halloween, so he and Amy get their revenge at Leonard and Penny's Halloween party. Meanwhile, Leonard is surprised that Penny doesn't remember their first kiss.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Oh, my God, you look amazing.
Raj: I find you guilty of murder, because you are killing it.
Howard: (imitating Sheldon) Well, technically, the Supreme Court wouldn't determine a defendant's guilt or innocence in a criminal matter. They could only reverse or revamp a jury's conviction based on a constitutional or statutory issue.

Quote from Raj

Howard: You're sitting in my spot.
Sheldon: You don't have a spot. What is wrong with you today?
Raj: Maybe he's cranky because he's off his bathroom schedule.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy, do you think I'm always correcting other people?
Amy: No, not all the time. I mean, just last week, Penny ended a sentence with a preposition. You didn't even mention it.
Sheldon: True. I just waited until I got home and screamed into a pillow.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Is something bothering you?
Sheldon: Howard dressed up as me and imitated me, and everyone laughed.
Amy: Oh. Well, that must have felt terrible.
Sheldon: It did. I never realized my friends viewed me as an object of ridicule.
Amy: Oh, I don't think that's true.
Sheldon: They laughed, Amy. In a derisive way. Not in the instructive way I laugh at them when they're being stupid.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: No, it does matter. Okay? You were right. It was Halloween. I was dressed as a cat, you were a hobbit. It was right there on that couch.
Leonard: Why didn't you just say that?
Penny: Because I always hated that was our first kiss. I was drunk, and I was still with Kurt, and I was using you to make myself feel better. I just wanted our first kiss to mean something. That's why I said it was the one on your birthday.
Leonard: I like that. We'll make that our official first kiss.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Hey, guys, I need your help. Bernadette's still pretty upset about your costumes.
Sheldon: She's upset? Those pants I wore to make fun of you were so tight, I risked a testicular hernia.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: She's not. It's been happening my whole life. And-and she called me out for being mean? Well, I've had to be mean. It's hard to be taken seriously when you're always the smallest person in the room.
Sheldon: I know that. I was in high school when I was nine years old. I tried to tell the other kids that although my physical stature was small, my intellectual stature towered over them. That only seemed to make things worse.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Hey, did you guys know this year's the 40th anniversary of Halloween?
Sheldon: Oh, nonsense. Halloween traditions of date back to the Celtic festival of Samhain. Although our current Halloween customs come from the evening before All Hallows' Day, All Hallows' Eve. Thus, Halloween.
Raj: I meant the movie Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, that's not interesting at all.
Leonard: Did you know the Michael Myers mask from the film was actually a Captain Kirk mask turned inside out?
Sheldon: Okay, now it's interesting.

Quote from Penny

Amy: Are you guys all dressing up for work?
Howard: Of course. I mean, how often do you get to wear costumes to work? Says the man with a giant belt buckle and a dickey.
Howard: Hey, this is not a costume. It's a choice. It's a style.
Penny: It's a tragedy.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hello. [dressed like Sheldon, imitating him]
Sheldon: Hello.
Howard: I see you are dressed as Doc Brown from Back to the Future. May I assume that Amy is going as his wife, Clara Clayton, from Back to the Future Part III?
Sheldon: She is. Did you do something different to your hair?
Howard: Yes.
Sheldon: Looking good.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Oh, Inspector Gadget. And I want to say Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Raj: So close. Kooth Bader Ginsburg. The Notorious KBG.
Sheldon: That's very clever.
Raj: [striking a gavel] Sustained.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Well, I can understand how that would make someone irritable.
Howard: Interesting fact: "irritable" comes from the Latin, "susceptible to anger."
Sheldon: Just because I used a word doesn't mean I want its etymology.
Howard: Interesting fact: "etymology" comes from the Greek word-

Quote from Amy

Amy: Hey, why aren't you in your costume?
Sheldon: I just didn't feel like it.
Amy: You get that I'm wearing a corset because of you, not because I'm tired of breathing?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Hey, do you remember what happened at that first Halloween party that you invited me to?
Penny: When I threw up in the pumpkin?
Leonard: More memorable than that.
Penny: Really? That was pretty impressive.
Leonard: We had our first kiss. On this very couch.
Penny: No, no, our first kiss was at your birthday. Remember? I threw you a party, you didn't make it, and I felt bad for you.
Leonard: No, no, it was on Halloween, and you felt bad for me.
Penny: If we're gonna go through every party where I felt bad for you, we're gonna be here awhile.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: Maybe Howard could apologize?
Bernadette: You're kidding, right? Sheldon didn't apologize when he said my baby looked like Winston Churchill.
Amy: He loves Churchill. Your son should take that as a compliment.
Bernadette: He said it about my daughter.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: How many times has he made fun of Howard for being an engineer? Going to MIT? His magic?
Amy: Sheldon doesn't make fun of his magic.
Bernadette: Well, he should. It's stupid.

Quote from Howard

Howard: (imitating Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent) Well, Gorblimey. You look like a thousand tuppence. Don't he, Mary Poppins?
Bert: Are you gonna talk like that all night?
Howard: Jiff willikers, I am.
Bernadette: Isn't he cute? He's gonna get a spoonful of sugar later.
Howard: And I'm gonna sweep Ms. Poppins' chimney.

Quote from Bert

Amy: (imitating Bernadette) Happy Halloween.
Sheldon: Who wants to see a magic trick? Oh, that's right. No one.
Bert: Ha! They're you.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: What do you think you're doing?
Amy: I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice.
Sheldon: And I don't understand what's going on because I went to MIT.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Well, people came, they ate, they vowed to never speak to each other again. I think it was a successful party.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways made me a better person.
Amy: Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. How so?
Sheldon: As you were eating that Danish, I wanted to point out that the Danish isn't Danish at all. It was imported by Austrian bakers during a labor dispute in the 1800s. But I chose not to, because I didn't want to be the kind of fella who foists unwanted facts about European pastries on the unwilling.
Amy: Huh. That's actually interesting.
Sheldon: Sorry. Now you'll never know.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, why should we do it?
Howard: Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess?
Amy: Really? Star Wars?
Sheldon: Amy, let the man speak.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Wait, did you just walk into my house?
Sheldon: No, Howard let me in.
Bernadette: Where is he?
Sheldon: Oh, he got in his car and drove away.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: One time my brothers made me breathe helium. I tried to call for help, but the only one who could hear me was the dog.
Sheldon: That's also terrible. My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this? This movie's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Please. I'm an adult. I think I can handle it.
Leonard: That's what you said about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo.
Sheldon: That was my fault. After I pet that goat, I felt like a gladiator.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Bernadette, why don't we get to dress up at work?
Bernadette: We used to, but a couple guys in the infectious disease lab went as zombies and it triggered a quarantine. The CDC was so mad.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Hey, if you really want to dress up, we could throw a party.
Penny: Oh, that would be fun. You know, I used to throw Halloween parties all the time when I moved into the building.
Leonard: All the time? I only remember being invited to one.
Penny: Please don't make this awkward for me.

Quote from Howard

Amy: What are you going as?
Howard: I don't want to ruin the surprise. You'll see it at work. Just a warning: it's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Is it a bird?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Is it a dog?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Oh, I think I'll be fine, then.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Are you gonna dress in drag in front of your fiancee?
Raj: Yeah. We have no secrets from each other. Well, except for the fact that I crocheted this myself.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Sheldon, he's being you. He's dressed as you for Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. So you're not laughing at him. You're laughing at me.
Raj: We're not laughing at you. We're laughing with you.
Sheldon: But I'm not laughing.
Raj: Then the first one.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Hey, happy Halloween.
Penny: Oh! Trick or treat.
Leonard: No. Sorry, you're not wearing a costume.
Penny: Yeah, I am. I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Leonard: I'm gonna need more.
Penny: Okay, failed actress who traded constant rejection for a Christmas bonus and a dental plan?
Leonard: Go nuts.
Penny: Oh. I will.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: So, what are you wearing to the party? Sexy cat? Sexy nurse? Sexy zombie?
Penny: Why do girls' costumes have to be sexy but guys' costumes don't?
Leonard: (scoffs) Say that again with this helicopter on my head.
Penny: Very cute.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You're not mad at me, are you?
Leonard: No. Of course not. No, we just remember different things from that party. I remember falling in love, and you remember vomiting in a pumpkin.
Penny: I was, like, four feet away. People cheered.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Anyway, the point is, Sheldon shouldn't dish it out if he can't take it.
Amy: I think the point is that Howard owes him an apology.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, I think the point is if Sheldon has a problem with Howard, Sheldon should take it up with him. Now, if you'll excuse me, the prime minister of England needs her diaper changed.

Leonard: Oh, that's great. He's a Supreme Court justice, and you're the U.S. Constitution.
Anu: Yep. He interprets me. And guess what's underneath this? The Bill of Tights.

Quote from Stuart

Bernadette: Hey, Bert, what are you dressed as?
Bert: I'll give you a hint. My work in seismic refraction measurements and-
Bernadette: Hey, Stuart, what are you dressed as?
Stuart: I'm a butterfly.
Bernadette: Did you steal those from Halley's "let's pretend" box?
Stuart: I'm gonna put them back.

Quote from Bert

Bert: All right, I'll tell you. I'm Maurice "Doc" Ewing, winner of the 1960 Vetlesen Prize, generally regarded as the Nobel Prize of geology.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah. Now I see it.
Bert: Ask me how I died. Spoiler alert: brain hemorrhage.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: So, here we are. On Halloween. On this couch. Does it ring any bells?
Penny: Really? We're still doing this?
Leonard: I'm just surprised you don't remember our first kiss.
Penny: (sighs) Fine. It was on Halloween.
Leonard: Are you agreeing just to shut me up?
Penny: You got another way? I'm all ears.

Quote from Bert

Bert: Really? An arranged marriage?
Raj: Yeah. I know how it sounds.
Bert: It sounds awesome. Is that just an Indian thing, or can I get a piece of that?
Anu: You know the woman has a choice, right?
Bert: There's always a catch.

Leonard: Okay, guys, I think that's enough.
Raj: Hold on. I'm the judge here, and I'm going to allow it.
Penny: Raj, take a break.
Anu: Hey, free speech. Right back there somewhere.

Quote from Amy

Howard: You know what, guys? You got us. Congratulations. Now why don't you go back to your apartment and put on your other costumes.
Amy: Oh, but it's so far away, and I have such teeny, tiny legs.

Quote from Stuart

Bert: I don't get invited to a lot of parties. Is this a good one?
Stuart: Oh, yeah.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Can't believe Amy did that.
Howard: Oh, come on. You thought it was funny when I dressed up as Sheldon.
Bernadette: That was totally different.
Howard: How?
Bernadette: That didn't hurt my feelings.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Well, for what it's worth, I didn't think it was a very good impression of you.
Bernadette: Really? You don't think I have an annoying high-pitched voice?
Howard: No, not at all. In fact, I find your voice quite melodious.
Bernadette: Mm-hmm. And you don't think I'm unnecessarily hurtful?
Howard: What? I'm sorry. I-I couldn't hear the question. I just heard the music.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: That was beautiful.
Penny: Mm.
Leonard: What are you still doing here?
Stuart: I was in the bathroom. Guacamole didn't agree with me.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Anyway, if you guys could apologize, it'd be a big help.
Amy: Oh, we'd be happy to apologize to her as soon as she apologizes to me for not making you apologize to Sheldon.
Howard: I didn't follow that, but, then, between my wife and that guacamole, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

Quote from Howard

Amy: Don't you think it's unreasonable for her to ask us to do something she refused to do?
Howard: Yes. So when can you stop by?

Quote from Howard

Howard: Well, Chewbacca was losing and getting angry and-
Sheldon: W-W-Wait. Are you saying we should let the Wookiee win?
Howard: Hey. Hey, that's my wife you're talking about. (whispers) But yes, let the Wookiee win.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh. Is that watermelon for anybody?
Bernadette: It's for Halley.
Sheldon: Is she gonna eat all of it? God, no wonder she looks like Churchill.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Howard said your feelings were hurt.
Bernadette: Well, Howard's wrong. I don't care if someone makes fun of me.
Sheldon: All right. Apparently I came all this way for nothing. Unless Halley wants to share that watermelon?

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: You think Amy's the first person to make fun of me for having a squeaky voice? Do you?
Sheldon: I feel like my chance at watermelon is dangling by a thread.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: The kids called me Bernadette the marionette.
Sheldon: (laughs) Because you're small. That's funny.
Bernadette: No, it's not.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: I guess we both had to put up with a lot of crap from people.
Sheldon: I suppose we have. Huh. Maybe you and I are more alike than we thought.
Bernadette: Maybe we are.
Sheldon: Although I'm exceptionally tall, and you're exceptionally-
Bernadette: Sheldon.
Sheldon: You didn't even let me finish.
Bernadette: Fine. Sorry.
Sheldon: Short.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What do you guys think you're doing?
Raj: We're showing Sheldon Halloween.
Amy: Absolutely not. Sheldon, come home.
Sheldon: But I really want to watch it.
Amy: I know you do, but I am forbidding it.
Sheldon: Oh, man. Sorry, guys.
[in the hallway:]
Sheldon: What took you so long?
Amy: I'm sorry. I just got your text!

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