Howard: This one's how you move, this is how you shoot. "A" jumps, "B" puts you into build mode.
Raj: And depending on what you want to build, you can use LB, RB, LT, or RT.
Bernadette: Just put me in, I'll figure it out.
Howard: Oh, sounds like me on our honeymoon.
Raj: Okay, you're skydiving down. You're almost to the ground. Now, when you land, you're gonna want- (gunfire) Okay, you're dead.
Bernadette: Wait, that's it? That wasn't fun at all.
Howard: Oh, now it sounds like you on our honeymoon.

Penny: Hey, ready for lunch?
Bernadette: Hang on.
Penny: Really, video games? Is this some sort of Freaky Friday thing where you're actually Howard?
Bernadette: Please, if I were Howard, I'd be doing this. [looks down at her breasts] You know what? He's not wrong.

Penny: All right, great, can we go?
Bernadette: In a minute. I want to show Howard I can play this game.
Penny: You know, you make a lot more money than he does. Can't you just rub his nose in that?
Bernadette: I can, but I want to rub his nose in this.

Raj: Okay, this citation is correct. How you doing?
Leonard: Pretty good. I'm just looking through "The Effect of High Energy Muons on Proton Pion Scattering at the National Accelerator-" (inhales) "-Laboratory."
Raj: Hey, should we take a break?
Leonard: No, this actually makes it more exciting. We have to get through all of this before I run out of this.
Raj: It's like the movie Speed, but instead of a bus, it's your lungs. And instead of Sandra Bullock, it has sadness.

Howard: Oh, gosh, my Russian's a little rusty.
Raj: If it helps, this word may be "moose."

Howard: This paper is called "Examinations of a Super-Asymmetric Model of the Universe" by Dr. Vasily Gregora-poli-popivich.
Leonard: W-Wait, so Amy and Sheldon weren't the first to think of super-asymmetry?
Howard: No, doesn't look like it. This is from 1978.
Leonard: Okay, well, they might need to rename their theory "The Cooper-Fowler Gregora-poli-popivich Theory."
Howard: Kind of rolls right off your tongue, doesn't it?

Leonard: Sheldon is not gonna be happy about this.
Howard: Well, he's gonna be less happy about this: "The super-asymmetric model is inherently flawed and does not bear the weight of further examination."
Leonard: Hmm. So this disproves their theory?
Howard: Sounds like it.
Leonard: Oh, how are we gonna tell him?
Howard: That's easy. Just go up to him and say, "Sheldon, Raj has something to tell you."

Bernadette: Which brings up an interesting question. You and Stuart. Why?
Denise: I don't know. My parents owned a funeral home. Read into that what you will.

Penny: Is everything okay?
Leonard: No, I found a paper that proves their theory wrong. They thought this was gonna be their Nobel Prize. It's gonna break his heart.
Penny: Oh, man. Maybe leave an anonymous note, you know, like in high school, when you want to let your best friend know that her boyfriend's cheating on her.
Leonard: Why wouldn't you just tell her that?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe you had a hickey.
Leonard: Isn't it better to get bad news from a friend?
Penny: Trust me, it's not. I went to prom with a hickey and a black eye.

Bernadette: You don't have to be snarky.
Denise: Hey, do you want to play the game, or do you want to crawl back up your mommy's shirt and chow down like a baby?
Bernadette: Damn, what is wrong with you?
Denise: I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to beat your husband.
Bernadette: I do.
Denise: Well, then suck it up!

Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Leonard: Is there anything we can do?
Sheldon: No. Yeah-- wait. Do I smell Siam Palace?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, it's our dinner. I mean, it's your dinner.
Sheldon: Any mango sticky rice?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: And the blows keep coming.

Amy: You realize we still have a lot of work to do before we can publish.
Sheldon: Perhaps we should divide and conquer. Now, you track down all the citations and properly note them in our bibliography, and I will roll up my sleeves and decide what font we want to use.
Amy: Sheldon, there are hundreds of citations to track down.
Sheldon: And thousands of fonts, but you don't hear me complaining.

Raj: You got yourself a good one there, buddy.

Bernadette: So you'll coach me?
Denise: Sure. Now let me ask you a question. Howard. Why?
Bernadette: You got eyes. What do you think?